Cash for clunkers? Desperate Diesel begs for ‘Furious’ funding

Brother, can you spare $300 million?

Vin Diesel wants to make an 11th “Fast & Furious” movie, but the Universal suits think he’s high on his NOS supply.

‘This is very, you know, it’s very white, this movie.’

The blockbuster franchise is running on fumes, creatively and financially. Did you see the ninth installment where they drove into space? Plus, “Fast X” made just $146 million stateside. It performed dramatically better overseas. These films don’t come cheap, and “Fast X” proved to be one of the most expensive films ever made.

That film ended with a cliffhanger, and Diesel went to social media to beg for closure.

“Universal… Please tell the best fans in the world, when the next movie is coming out. Please.” Diesel posted on Instagram.

You shouldn’t treat family this way …

The dork side

Disney is having trouble making “Star Wars” movies. Yes, the Mouse House scooped the saga up from George Lucas in 2012 for a cool $4 billion, but the studio hasn’t released a “Star Wars” film since 2019’s “The Rise of Skywalker.”

If you’ve seen that film, you can stop rolling your eyes.

Now, we have firm news about a new installment coming our way. The project is called “Star Wars: Starfighter,” and it features Ryan Gosling and director Shawn Levy (“Deadpool & Wolverine”).

Imagine having all the resources at Disney’s disposal, and that’s the title you settle on? The Force remains weak with this studio …

60 candles (and still kvetching)

She. Just. Won’t. Stop.

Molly Ringwald spent the 1980s capturing teen angst, courtesy of great John Hughes films like “Pretty in Pink,” “Sixteen Candles,” and “The Breakfast Club.”

She turned on those films in recent years, blasting them as unwoke and problematic.

The horror, the horror.

She did it again recently when “The Breakfast Club” cast reunited for an emotional moment at the C2E2 pop culture convention in Chicago.

Her castmates reminisced about the movie and their talented director. Ringwald played the woke card again during the appearance, when they were asked about a possible sequel or remake.

I believe in making movies that are inspired by other movies but build on it and represent what’s going on today. This is very, you know, it’s very white, this movie. You don’t see a lot of different ethnicities. We don’t talk about gender. None of that. And I feel like that really doesn’t represent our world today.

Sure, “The Breakfast Club” endures, but imagine a 2025 version where the characters spend detention debating inclusion and gender roles …

Kimmel’s scream therapy

So that’s why “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” gave up on comedy.

The show’s far-left host opened up about life under Trump 2.0, revealing a mind that can’t process why voters rejected a party pushing a dementia-addled candidate.

The Rolling Stone chat pulled back the Oz-like curtain behind his ABC talk show and its true purpose.

Laughter didn’t even make the final cut. Says the not-so-funnyman:

A year ago, I would’ve said I’m hoping to show people who aren’t paying attention to the news what’s actually going on and hoping to change things that way. Obviously, that didn’t have enough impact before the election, so now I see myself more as a place to scream.

To be fair, screaming is better than crying, although Kimmel did cry post-Election Day …

Clooney’s civic doody

“The Simpsons” remains a meme-lover’s dream. One favorite? “Stop, he’s already dead,” a phrase uttered to ask someone to stop what they’re doing. The job is already done.

Cue George Clooney.

He’s still doing a victory lap for putting down President Joe Biden’s 2024 presidential campaign. The actor’s oh-so-public letter in the New York Times last year suggested what we all knew at that point. Biden was too mentally compromised to continue his campaign.

“Well, I don’t know if it was brave. … It was a civic duty,” the actor told “journalist” Jake Tapper, who personally helped cover up Biden’s brain fog before co-authoring a tell-all book on the subject.

The truth-to-power Clooney went on.

“When I saw people on my side of the street not telling the truth, I thought that was time,” he said.

Except he didn’t.

Clooney saw Biden’s decline up close at a June fundraiser. He waited until after the June 27 presidential debate and Biden’s crashing poll numbers to crank out that infamous op-ed.

Some civic duty.