Husband frustrated as in-laws join every vacation, sparks debate on Reddit

A frustrated husband drew sympathy online after sharing that his in-laws “always want to go everywhere” with him and his wife, leaving him feeling more like a chauffeur and trip planner.

The man explained in Reddit’s “Am I the A–hole?” forum that his wife’s parents join them on nearly every weekend outing and vacation. Whether it’s a day trip to a park in New Jersey, a visit to Manhattan or even an out-of-state getaway, his wife “doesn’t see anything wrong” with her parents tagging along.

“She says that she is their only child and if her parents don’t go out with us, they do not go out,” the husband wrote, adding that he would not mind them joining occasionally. 

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At one point, his wife even uninvited her mother and told her it was because her husband didn’t want them joining.

“Am I being unreasonable for objecting to them coming along so often?” he asked in the online post.

Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with him, ruling he was “NTA,” short for “Not the A–hole.”

“They’re third wheeling and intrusive,” one commenter said.

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“Only child or not, your wife should not be solely responsible for her parents’ social life,” someone else said. “If they choose not to have friends or not to go places with friends they have, that isn’t on either of you.”

Many criticized the wife for putting her husband in this position.

“You have a wife problem, not an in-law problem,” one person wrote.

Another agreed: “She is an [a–hole] to do this to you.”

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But some readers argued he should have anticipated the dynamic before marriage.

“Seems a little late to be upset now,” one person said.

“If you knew this and entered into their family willingly and now want to flip things, I’m going to have to say that [you’re the a–hole,” someone else said.

Others encouraged compromise and communication.

“You need to sit your wife down and have this conversation,” one person said, adding, “Just because she wants them at something doesn’t mean she gets to dictate what you do all the time as a couple.”

“Parents wanting to spend time with their daughter is fine, your wife being chill with that is fine, you not wanting QUITE so much time with them is fine,” someone else said. “The best way forward will probably involve compromise on both sides.”

Nari Jeter, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Tallahassee, Florida, told Fox News Digital that no one is necessarily at fault.

“They just all have different boundaries and expectations,” Jeter said. “It is totally valid and reasonable for him to want to spend some Saturdays and vacations exclusively with his wife.”

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She advised the husband to set clear boundaries.

“Saying, ‘Can we spend less time with your family?’ is vague,” she said. “But saying, ‘I’d like to take one solo vacation with you a year and one family vacation a year’ is more specific.”

Or, he could encourage his wife to do more things with her family without him, she added. 

Jeter said the wife shouldn’t feel responsible for her parents’ social life, and that her parents should reassure her that it’s healthy for her to spend time with her husband alone.

“Loving and caring parents should understand and respect the reasonable and healthy boundaries of their adult daughter, son-in-law and their marriage,” Jeter said.

Fox News Digital reached out to the original poster for comment.