Teens Who Attacked Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine Get Rehabilitated

Not a surprise, really, but the 15-year-old teens who participated in an assault on Ed “Big Balls” Coristine were basically given a pass by the Washington, DC justice system. Both were sentenced to probation and no one else involved in the attack has been identified or charged.

A 15 year-old-boy and a 15-year-old girl, whom WUSA9 has agreed not to name, were accused of assaulting a Department of Government Efficiency staffer on Aug. 3.

On Tuesday, the 15-year-old boy was sentenced to 12 months probation. The girl pleaded guilty to simple assault and will serve nine months probation, according to a judge.; her lawyer had asked for four-and-a-half months…

The judge emphasized that the purpose of juvenile court is to rehabilitate, not to punish. She said she hopes the teenagers learn from their probationary period.

This is ridiculous. In case you’ve forgotten the details in the two months since this happened, here’s what took place:

DOGE employee Edward Coristine, known as “Big Balls,” recounts the horrific story of how he was jumped in Washington, D.C., by a group of thugs. Despite the assault, he bravely protected his female friend.

“I was hanging out with a group of my friends late at night and at about… pic.twitter.com/KBq7XHX4h0

— RedWave Press (@RedWave_Press) September 30, 2025

So a group of about 10 started this late at night. This group of “youths” attempted to carjack a young couple and when Coristine said no they beat him up and broke his nose. The girl he was with escaped a beating only because she was locked inside the car.

The beating probably would have gone on for much longer, but luckily a cop car turned onto the street and the “youths” scattered. Police later identified one of them from security video and put out photos.

The Metropolitan Police Department is seeking the community’s assistance in identifying a person of interest in an attempted unarmed carjacking that occurred in Northwest.

Read more: https://t.co/jwvVKCqzRW pic.twitter.com/4oqoWemyh0

— DC Police Department (@DCPoliceDept) August 7, 2025

This kid turned out to be 15 and lived in Maryland. What was he doing walking around DC at 3 am with a gang of other kids? Well, they were not out collecting money for the red cross. 

He and the 15-year-old girl were identified and arrested. The charge should have been carjacking, which is a felony, but last month there were reports the male had pleaded guilty to four different charges, one of which was a felony.

The teen pleaded guilty in D.C. juvenile court on Wednesday to felony assault, simple assault, robbery and attempted robbery.

The teen and a 15-year-old girl, both from Hyattsville, Maryland, demanded a car in the 1400 block of Swann Street NW at about 3 a.m. Aug. 3, police said. Two people who were assaulted were treated on the scene and not hospitalized, police said.

There’s no indication that I’ve seen that the charges this teen pleaded guilty to have been dropped. So for a felony and three misdemeanors he got a sentence of 12-months, all of which he’ll serve at home. This is what “rehabilitation” looks like in DC.

The boy was handed a 12-month probation and allowed to return home under strict house arrest, while the girl was given a nine-month probation and remanded to a local youth shelter.

But as light as that sentence is, it’s not as light as the non-sentence received by the other 8 people involved in this. Were they even identified? All we know is that they were never arrested or charged.

Their accomplices in the attempted carjacking and assault at approximately 3 a.m. in a DC parking garage remain at large.

So either the two teens never identified their friends (snitches get stiches) or the police got the names and decided to do nothing. I guess the other 8 members of the goon squad didn’t need any rehabilitation.

It goes without saying but if a group of 10 white teens had attacked and beaten up a young black couple, this story would have become the next BLM special. Allowing 80% of the kids responsible to not even face arrest would not have been an option. Now would sending the 20% who got caught back home on probation for a felony have been considered reasonable.

Coristine himself continues to be the bigger man in all of this. He appeared at the sentencing by video.

“I hope you can figure things out and be ready for the consequences,” Coristine, 19, reportedly told the defendants via video link, as he thanked the courts and police for their quick work in bringing the pair to justice.

There was minimal justice in this case but as a result, Trump sent troops and law enforcement into Washington, DC and the results of that effort were good. Carjackings and other crimes have dropped substantially since then. So at least we can say that something good came out of this.

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