Glenn Beck’s AI Christmas song just humiliated every 'Happy Holidays' grinch in America

Glenn Beck has been one of the loudest and boldest voices in conservative media regarding the dangers of artificial intelligence. For three decades, he’s been warning that a day is coming when technology outpaces human control and reshapes society.

As that day draws ever closer, Glenn has urged his audience to learn how to use AI — not as a source for critical thinking, not as a companion — but as a tool beholden to our command.

Glenn has been modeling for his listeners what it looks like to use artificial intelligence well. On his radio program, he regularly shares how he employs AI for research, meal planning, budget optimization, brainstorming, and trend analysis, among other tasks.

Bottom line: AI isn’t good or evil. It just amplifies whoever’s holding the reins.

And this December, Glenn took that philosophy one joyful step further. While left-wing activists and institutions continue their annual push to secularize the holiday — replacing “Merry Christmas” with “Happy Holidays,” banning songs that mention Jesus, and swapping Christmas parties for generic “winter celebrations” — Glenn gave AI a simple but profound task: Produce a song that boldly puts Christ back in Christmas.

And it did not disappoint.

The lyrics are as follows:

Well, the season’s here, and the lights are bright, but they tell me, I can’t say Merry Christmas tonight.

They want RamaHanuKwanzMas all in one breath.

Buddy, that phrase is gonna bore me to death.

So grab some cocoa. Let’s reclaim this place.

It’s the birthday of the baby.

Yeah, remember who that is.

So I’m putting the Christ back in Christmas.

No microaggression here.

My friend, if words can break you, I’ll bless your heart, because that’s a battle we can’t defend.

Yeah, I’m putting the Christ back in Christmas.

Let common sense unfold. Out with the new, in with the old.

Merry Christmas. Let the truth be told.

And hey baby, it’s cold outside, relax.

It’s flirting, not a federal crime.

We used to laugh and dance in snow.

Now they fact-check mistletoe.

They say intent don’t matter.

Well, sure it does, ask Santa.

He’s judging hearts, not Twitter buzz.

So I’m putting the Christ back in Christmas.

You can keep your outrage warm.

If every jingle is problematic, buddy, that’s the real snowstorm.

Yeah, I’m putting the Christ back in Christmas.

Not buying what they sold.

Out with the new, in with the old.

Merry Christmas. Let the truth be told.

They say that greeting is oppressive.

Well, bless my soul.

Who knew if Merry Christmas makes you tremble, the problem ain’t the phrase, it’s you.

I’ll question with boldness. I’ll reason with grace, but don’t rewrite my holiday to make it a safe space.

So here’s to the manger.

The star in the sky.

The angels who sang up that holy night.

Here’s to the story that still brings hope

Even when cultures lost the remote.

Raise your voice, let the bells all ring.

This season was always about one King.

Yeah, I’m putting the Christ back in Christmas.

Let the real good news unfold.

The world may chase the wrapping paper, but the manger holds the gold.

So I put the Christ back in Christmas from the young to the gray and old.

Out with the new, in with the old.

Merry Christmas. Let the truth be told.

So crank up the volume, hit play, and let this AI-born anthem remind the culture: Christmas isn’t canceled — Christ is, and will forever be, King.

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