Mayorkas: Man, Somebody Shoulda Done Sumpthin' About That Border

So, I always feel heartened when I can end the evening on either a high note or one so insanely ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh.

This is one of those.

And please don’t cry.

Once upon a time in the legendary years of the reign of POTATUS, there was a man. As we now know, he was a very, very simple man.

At the time, we were all convinced he was a super ee-ville genius.

Now we know he was just another dumb cluck ideologue dutifully carrying out the orders of the glitterati who ruled over him.

Technically, he was the Director of the Department of Homeland Security.

We just know him as Ray. Ray Mayorkas.

He was perpetually beaten up once Republicans gained the House back.

WHY DO YOU DO THIS, THAT, OR THE OTHER, RAY?

‘RAY DO WHUT?’ Ray would answer.

‘Ray no do that. Everything fine in Ray’s world.’

Ray was just another simple soul on a cruel national stage, in a drama he hadn’t read the script for, trying to do his best at a job he didn’t understand.

One of the things that toyed with the gentle Ray’s nerves was the border.

Time and again, he’d earnestly reiterate for any inquisitor, friend or foe…

…even look adorably sheepish at times while insisting the border ‘is secure,’ policies, schmolicies aside.

Yeah.

That Ray.

The new Ray doesn’t remember anything about THAT Ray.

Gosh, says the new Ray, I sure wish we coulda done sumpthin’ about the border we said we’d done sumpthin’ about.’

Mayorkas: Biden administration should have ramped up border controls sooner https://t.co/TRmzMN7Okg

— POLITICO (@politico) May 12, 2026

For reals. No time like the present, dude.

Former Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas lamented the delay in immigration enforcement actions until the final year of President Biden’s term — despite having testified to Congress several times while in office that the US border was “secure.”

In an appearance Tuesday at Politico’s Security Summit, Mayorkas discussed aspects of the “broken” immigration system in America, acknowledging that a “low bar” for those expressing “credible fear of persecution” allowed too many migrants into the country during the Biden administration.

More than 8 million entered by the start of the 46th president’s final year in office — before Biden moved to shut down the border and crack down on illegal crossings via an executive order, first reported by The Post.

…The former DHS chief testified several times to Congress that illegal crossings were not an issue under Biden and the border was “secure,” leading to his impeachment in February 2024.

“With the authorities and the funding that we have, it is as secure as it can be,” Mayorkas also told a House committee just weeks after the impeachment.

And there are no erased and rebuilt memory banks on Earth like a Democrat’s when they need a complete reboot.

Like wishing they could have enforced U.S. immigration laws ‘better’ when they were the person responsible for *checks notes* enforcing U.S. immigration laws.

Asked if earlier steps from the Biden administration on border security — including raising the bar for migrants claiming “credible fear” of returning to their home country — would have prevented President Donald Trump’s return to the White House, Mayorkas replied: “I am not in a position to speculate, but I will tell you that I would be far more better rested and less punched.”

Mayorkas, who was impeached by the House in 2024 on claims that he intentionally did not enforce U.S. immigration laws, also emphasized that the Biden administration did, eventually, act to address the migrant influx at the border.

“I was very pleased that in June of 2024, we took executive action that, I thought, made reforms that were sensible and that proved successful,” Mayorkas said. “Our tougher border stance in June of ‘24 was coupled with an increased focus on providing lawful pathways for people to arrive at the United States outside the hands of smugglers — more secure and more humanitarian. Those two combined — our numbers dropped 70, 75 percent.”

The rare comments from Mayorkas, who has only spoken publicly a handful of times since leaving DHS in January 2025, speak to the tensions that existed within the Biden administration about what balance to strike between enforcing U.S. immigration laws amid a major influx of migrants to U.S. ports of entry after the Covid-19 pandemic and adopting a humane posture toward people fleeing genuine hardship and plights around the world.

Then again, he only answered in the affirmative in the context of keeping Trump out of the White House.

2021 pic.twitter.com/jLVK85H9vh

— Audra Tesluk (@AudraTesluk) May 12, 2026

Not because Mayorkas thought that as DHS head he should have been – lemme repeat myself – enforcing U.S. immigration laws.

oh so we are going to pretend this wasn’t their official policy now:

Halted border wall construction (Jan 2021)

Ended Remain in Mexico (MPP) – asylum seekers allowed to wait inside U.S.

Narrowed ICE enforcement – focus only on serious criminals, mass catch-and-release

Mass…

— Business Tactical (@Bacon_Is_King) May 12, 2026

…Mass parole programs – 500k+ from Cuba/Haiti/Nicaragua/Venezuela + others

Rolled back expedited removal & asylum rules – higher release rates

Ended Title 42 expulsions (May 2023) – shifted to full releases with court dates

Simple Ray, the loyal ideologue dog to the end.

Not falling for it, and Simple Ray should be in jail.

Mem’ries.

Like the corner of my mind.

This is the moment when TX National Guard became overrun by migrants rioting to get across the border here in El Paso today

We were there and saw it all happen. Absolute chaos here. pic.twitter.com/VN6Kf663ie

— Jennie Taer (@JennieSTaer) March 21, 2024

Crystal frickin’ clear mem’ries.