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While in an effort to navigate young stardom, “Game of Thrones” actress Hannah Murray once found herself in a wellness cult that led to a “catastrophic” psychotic break.
In a new interview with The Guardian, the English actress — who is gearing up to release her upcoming book, “The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness” — opened up about her troubling experience and detailed how she was able to escape the organization.
“There’s not enough critical thought about wellness, particularly the way it’s been transformed into an industry,” Murray, who played Gilly on “Game of Thrones,” told the outlet. “It’s easy to go, ‘Well, that would never happen to me,’ but we do ourselves a disservice when we start saying that, because you don’t know.”
“I was well-educated, from a middle-class family; everything should have been fine,” she continued. “I thought, ‘I’m smart. I make good choices.’ Well, I made terrible choices. But it’s important to understand why people do these things, rather than going, ‘Oh, they must be idiots.’ Or, ‘How stupid could you be?’ “
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Murray said she was first introduced to the cult through an “energy healer” she had met on the set of her 2017 film “Detroit” — in which she played an 18-year-old who was sexually assaulted by the police.
Because the “violent and dark” subject matter of the film took a toll on Murray, she sought guidance in an energy healer she referred to as Grace.
Murray said she first participated in a $150 “healing” session, that eventually led the actress to attend more classes with other members of the organization — of which she did not name.
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The 36-year-old actress said there were times when Grace made no sense, according to The Guardian. She talked about bringing “light” into her body and how she could activate her “spiritual DNA” using “powerful and ancient” tools.
“The most appealing thing was the idea that you might discover this whole magical world just under the surface of our world. As a kid, I desperately wanted that to be true,” she said. “When I was going through psychosis, my brain was a cocktail of those stories, this idea that I had discovered the truth, which was that I had this incredible destiny. I was going to save the world. I could fly.”
“I wanted to go further and further, as far as you could go,” the actress continued.
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Eventually, Murray met the cult’s leader — a man she referred to as Steve.
“He exuded power in a way I had never known anyone to exude it,” she said. “Magical power … I knew I was in the presence of a magician.”
Her breaking point occurred while attending a five-day course in London with fellow cult members.
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Murray began to hallucinate and recalled experiencing a painful psychotic episode in which she felt like she was “giving birth through my skull.” Members of the organization surrounded her and began to chant, “Be gone, evil spirit in Hannah.”
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Murray was eventually rushed to Gordon hospital in Bloomsbury, London, where she was detained for 28 days under the Mental Health Act. She was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
These days, Murray is no longer acting and is weary of anything wellness-related.
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“I hear so much, ‘We need to talk more about mental health,'” she told The Guardian. “What they mean is, like, anxiety and depression. We’re all happy to talk about that. But there’s such a taboo around the idea of people who are sectioned. They are beyond the pale.”
“It felt really important to say, ‘I went through this,'” she added. “Lots of people go through this. That doesn’t mean they are bad or f—ed up forever.”
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