Don’t Deport My Sugar Baby!

I freely admit that I feel a bit bad for this guy.

He’s 75. He seems relatively fit and is clearly affluent. He’s looking for love, and he appears to have found it, or at least a decent enough simulacrum to satisfy most men of his age and remaining vitality. 

And, to be honest, most men would be pleased to have and to hold a good-looking woman thirty years his junior to enjoy his sunset years, may they be long and prosperous. 

REMINDER: A pending immigration application does NOT confer legal status.

ICE arrested Yasmin Suarez Reyes, an illegal alien from Venezuela, after she overstayed her lawful admission to the U.S. by OVER 2 YEARS.

Don’t be like Yasmin — take advantage of our CBP Home offer and… https://t.co/IUNkSOmKIi

— Homeland Security (@DHSgov) August 7, 2026

CBS News: 75-year-old John Gannon is a lifelong Republican who voted for President Trump.

But he says he now regrets that decision after his fiancée was arrested by ICE in Houston.

“Go after the criminals. We’re all for that. But leave the mom and pops and the kids alone.”

Of course, I am happily married to a woman 5 days my senior, who also happens to be of partial Venezuelan descent (her father immigrated in the 1950s), so I wouldn’t be tempted by Yasmin’s charms. Nor, given my rather modest income as a writer <insert GoFundMe page here>, would Yasmin likely give me a second look. 

Still, as sympathetic as I am to John, I’m not certain that I would go as far as he did to get some revenge on Donald Trump for separating him from his sugar baby. It’s one thing to be upset, or even angry. It’s quite another to hold oneself up to ridicule by complaining that all his political life choices were wrong because Trump is doing exactly what you voted for. 

Was Trump’s immigration policy made unclear during the election? 

For that matter, John complains that Trump is deporting “citizens,” when in fact his real complaint is that his honey was neither a citizen nor here legally, but that turned out to be inconvenient for John. 

Now, to be fair, I doubt that Yasmin presents much of a threat to America, or to much besides John’s bank account. And I doubt that CBP or ICE would have gone hunting for her on the streets, either, because she would be low on the list to track down. 

But Yasmin and John did something supremely stupid, given that Yasmin was breaking the law: they traveled by air, which happens to be the most watched method of travel, and it requires serious ID that gets checked through Homeland Security. 

What the heck did you expect?! Seriously, dude. It’s no different than shoplifting in front of a cop — well, in a Red state, at least, where criminals still get arrested — so don’t cry when the constabulary decides to do its duty. 

John, as a 62-year-old man, I seriously do understand why you are upset. Yasmin seems nice; she’s pretty; she’s 30 years younger than you. Seems like a great match to enjoy during your retirement. 

But if you didn’t want her to get deported, I suggest you shouldn’t have chosen to fly, even if it was First Class and got you a free drink or two. She was breaking the law, and airports are not a good place to do that. There are lots of law enforcement people there whose job it is to prevent that or detain people who do. 

Hopefully you can hire Yasmin a good lawyer, call your Congressman or Senator, and get Yasmin an expedited visa. Likely so. 

Otherwise, may I suggest looking HERE. 

Editor’s Note: Democrat politicians and their radical supporters will do everything they can to interfere with and threaten ICE agents enforcing our immigration laws.

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