Royals, Flushed: King Orders Extension of Harry, Meghan ‘Leave Us Alone’ Tour

As the saying goes: You can’t go home again. 

Well, technically, you can. However, if you left home by calling it and your family racist, oppressive, and exploitative, you can expect your return home to be, well … chilly, at best. Who would expect any other kind of reception? We’ll get to that shortly. 

Harry and Meghan Sussex abruptly returned to the UK last month, purportedly to spend some quality time with an ailing King Charles and possibly to repair ties with his successor, Prince William. In reality, the pair’s Hollywood fantasy had collapsed; they discovered that royals who exile themselves from royalty have only value as novelties, and that novelty has a short shelf life. Either the pair returned to the palaces as a way to shift back into the cosseted royal life or to get more dirt on their relatives for a Prince Harry literary follow-up to Spare. 

Either way, Charles made clear that The Firm has no openings for those who sought to damage it for their own peculiar and pecuniary interests:

King Charles III has reiterated that Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan, remain non-working members of the royal family following their return to the United Kingdom.

A letter sent on behalf of the king to senior government officials said the couple will continue to refrain from using their royal titles as they have done since stepping back from official royal duties in 2020. Any charity work the couple undertakes will be carried out in a private capacity, and operational security decisions are matters for the relevant police agencies, the letter adds.

The letter was sent by the Lord Chamberlain, the most senior official in the royal household, to senior officials in the government and military, as well as lord lieutenants, the king’s personal representatives around the country.

The public nature of the letter has a very clear message to crown-sniffers everywhere … choose:

While the communication simply confirms that Harry and Meghan’s status remains unchanged, the decision to send the letter and release it publicly demonstrates the concern among some palace observers that the couple’s status could allow them to become a sort of parallel royal court, competing with working members of the royal family.

Well, that’s certainly a fond ‘welcome home,’ no? 

Cruel as it may seem, Charles went public with this for a reason. The point is to make sure that no one who wants access to The Firm gives Harry and Meghan any attention as ‘parallel’ anything. Charles grew up with the antics of his uncle, former King Edward VIII, and his wife attempting to create a parallel court for decades after the abdication. And perhaps more to the point, he likely realizes the disaster that will unfold for The Firm if secondary royals start franchising off into marketplace competitors. Nipping it in the bud now will save William decades of trouble later, or at least ensure that the lines are brightly drawn at the start. 

The most amusing part, however, is the absolute chutzpah that the pair have in claiming to be “surprised” by the tenor of their welcome:

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were “surprised” by a letter sent on King Charles III’s behalf, clarifying that they are not working royals, after being told around an hour before it was sent.

Charles confirmed in writing on Monday that Harry and Meghan remain non-working royals following their return to the U.K. and should not be referred to as “Your Royal Highness” by those who meet them.

At the time the text of the letter was shared on Monday, Newsweek was told Harry and Meghan’s team had been informed that day. A spokesperson said on Tuesday they “were a little surprised not to have been told about this in advance.”

Ahem. Reportedly, the pair never consulted the King about their plans to return to the UK either. They spent the last six years insisting that the royal family and the UK more broadly were oppressive, bigoted, and uncaring about their very special feelings, or something. When the A-list invites dried up and their brand became moribund, the two took it upon themselves to hoof it back to The Firm to either retire back into a culture they claimed to hate or to exploit it for more griping in the future. And they have the gall to whine about a lack of consultation?

Mark my words: Get ready for Megxit III. They’ll be back in the US sooner or later, and likely sooner. When doors won’t open for them in the UK – which is clearly what Charles indicates – the Leave Us Alone Tour will go back on the road and come right back to where the money is. Or in their case, was. 

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