‘(Don’t) put a chick in it’: Lucasfilm head Kathleen Kennedy out

The boys at “South Park” will be devastated.

Kathleen Kennedy, the Lucasfilm president who crushed the Force better than Darth Vader ever could, is retiring to a home far, far away.

‘But to really have, like, a death toll and be willing to do that is a pill too great for me to swallow.’

When Disney spent a cool $4 billion on the “Star Wars” universe in 2012, the now 71-year-old Kennedy — whose resume boasts “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” “E.T.,” and “Gremlins” — seemed like the perfect person to run it.

And she was — for a minute. Her first film, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” made ALL the money in 2015 ($2 billion worldwide, to be exact).

It’s been rough sledding ever since, culminating in the “South Park” episode where a Kennedy stand-in revealed her storytelling strategy — “Put a chick in it! Make her lame and gay.”

That bit went viral while “Star Wars” fans prayed for Kennedy to leave the franchise before it was too late. And it just might be too late after flops like “The Acolyte” and “Star Wars: Skeleton Crew.”

Oh, and she drove a nail in the “Indiana Jones” franchise’s coffin, too.

Take a bow, Kennedy. It’ll take years to undo the damage you’ve caused. We’ll always have lesbian space witches, though. They can’t take that away from her …

Trophy twits

Don’t know much about (movie) history …

A new report from anonymous Oscar voters shed some depressing light on the state of Hollywood. Namely, some of the people pulling the Academy strings aren’t up on their film lore.

Case in point? Two 2025 voters opted against giving Ralph Fiennes a best actor trophy for “Conclave.”

It wasn’t that they objected to the movie’s ultraprogressive take on the search for a new pope, with an ending that feels like MSNBC castoff Joy Reid wrote it.

No, the voters in question applauded the actor’s work (he’s always solid). They didn’t want to honor him because, as they recalled, he already had a golden statuette.

Except … he doesn’t.

Guess doing a 10-second Google search on the topic was too much to ask …

Ice queen makes nice

Now, how hard was that?

Rachel Zegler’s “Snow White” opens next month, and the woker-than-woke starlet is singing a different tune about the project. Zegler caught heat last year after she trashed the source material as stuffy, archaic, and, oh, so sexist.

Later, she torched President Donald Trump and his MAGA bloc, saying they should “never know peace.” Fine actress. Lousy marketer.

It’s clear she’s been coached in damage control 101 and is eager to make amends for her bratty comments. She told Vogue’s Mexico edition why the hate she’s experienced is actually a good thing.

“I interpret people’s sentiments towards this film as passion. … What an honor to be a part of something that people feel so passionately about. We’re not always going to agree with everyone who surrounds us and all we can do is our best.”

Someone just passed remedial public relations … congrats!

Must-flee TV

The Oscars are Sunday night, and anyone hoping for a return to glitz and glamour may be disappointed. Expect resistance theater all night long.

Why?

That’s what we’ve seen for the past several weeks across the Screen Actors Guild Awards, the Directors Guild of America Honors, and various related soirees.

And sadly, the ensuing wisdom will be anything but sage-like. Consider “American Pie” alum Natasha Lyonne’s red carpet word salad, which made the former Vice President sound cogent by comparison.

Here’s just a sample:

But to really have, like, a death toll and be willing to do that is a pill too great for me to swallow. … Like, beyond the sort of dialectic around oligarchs and whatever else, it’s, like, when I think of the kids or, like, the 12-year-old girl that can’t get an abortion or something, or, you know, that’s what really, like, rips me apart.

Get this lady a prime-time gig at the 2028 Democratic National Convention.

Need more? Try Justin Simien, the creator of “Dear White People,” raging against you-know-who at the Film Independent Spirit Awards gala.

“If you’re serious about stopping the white nationalist coup taking over this country, how about amplifying black history. … Because black people, we’ve been in a fascist country this whole time.”

Could this year’s Oscars ceremony set an all-time ratings low? With speeches like that, it’s certainly got a fighting chance.