Grown woman’s regret about rejecting dad’s gift years earlier finally turns to joy

Lisa Brown Langley, a noted Martha’s Vineyard photographer today known as L.A. Brown, said she’ll never forget the day in London with her dad, Phil Brown, in 1992 — and how a single comment gnawed at her heart for years.

On that day in London, her 30th birthday was soon approaching.

Her father turned to her, smiled and said, “It’s time I bought you something I’ve given every woman in our family.” He added, to her surprise, “A Hermès scarf.” 

FOR FATHER’S DAY, PENNNIES FROM HEAVEN PLUS ‘GODWINKS’ AND GOOD MEMORIES 

It was an expensive gift — one considered a treasure for the person who wore it.

But unlike other family recipients — her mother, grandmother, aunt and sisters — the daughter felt that one of those classic silken accessories would not resonate with her free-flowing personality.

She told her father flippantly, “Dad, I’m so appreciative. But, you know me — I’m an artist. I just wouldn’t wear a costly Hermès scarf.”

The very moment she said those words, however, she wanted to reel them back, worried that she’d hurt her father’s feelings.

Four years later, her father suffered from leukemia and passed away.

Her heart ached at his passing as tears unlocked the guilt she’d kept in a private place for so long.

She could either remain curled in sorrow — or she could choose to piece her life back together. 

She could not shake the deep regret that something that was so important to her dear dad — his way of saying, “You are cherished” — was allowed to have been trivialized by her rejection.

After bearing the weight of her grief for weeks, she concluded she had two choices. 

She could either remain curled in sorrow — or she could choose to piece her life back together, honoring her father’s dream for her by becoming the remarkable photographer he always believed she could be. 

She chose the latter. 

Today L.A. Brown is an acclaimed and accomplished photographic artist.

Twenty years passed. Brown was nearing 50 when she and her husband, Brendan, strolled past London shops. 

As they wandered past a Hermès storefront, a realization jumped at her. Was this the very same shop — the one she’d visited with her father that day? She couldn’t say.

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She had never shared with her husband the story of her dad and how she was saddened for years by turning down his kind offer to buy her one of these scarves. 

And how she wished she could have told her father how much that gift would have truly meant to her.

“It was not me then … but it is me now,” she said wistfully.

Her husband looked at her. “Would you like one of those scarves for your birthday?”

She saw this immediately as a moment when she needed to choose her words wisely, so as not to hurt her husband’s feelings just as she’d hurt her dad’s.

She responded, “No — I now realize that buying that scarf for me was important to my father. And the truth is, if it wasn’t from Dad, it wouldn’t be the same.”

Two days later, arriving back at their Martha’s Vineyard home, Brown saw that a package had arrived from her aunt. 

There was a handwritten note on it: “Do not open until your birthday.” 

She couldn’t wait. 

She sat down, ripped off the wrapper, slipped her hand into the box — and touched something silky.

Closing her eyes, she took a breath. 

It was a Hermès scarf.

Tears welled in her eyes as she read the note from her Aunt Nan: “Dear Lisa, this scarf was given to your grandmother by your father. Now that she’s gone … I thought you’d like it.” 

A circle had been completed.

Brown’s beloved dad, in a special Godwink from heaven, had given her a treasured Hermès scarf after all.

Moments later, she playfully draped the scarf around her shoulders and turned to her husband with a gleam in her eyes. 

“Guess what?” she said, twirling. “It’s me!“

Godwinks are not random acts in our lives. They are little messages of reassurance from above — meant just for us. 

This story originally appeared in “The Godwink Effect” by SQuire Rushnell and Louise DuArt and is used by special permission. Copyright ©SQuire Rushnell and Louise DuArt. Anyone can learn more about the Godwinks projects at www.godwinks.com.