Horror show: ‘The View’ too scary for conservatives, boasts Behar

Talk about a booby prize.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) recently declared war on the GOP on several fronts, and instead of a trophy or plaque, she’ll get the honor of matching wits with those doyennes of derangement on “The View” next week.

The ever-present smile. The blazing hypocrisy. The fact that ‘Escape from New York’ is getting an all-too real sequel starting ASAP.

Apparently, Taylor Greene’s recent ideological about-face makes her the perfect conservative foil on a show that tends to veer — if not careen — left.

Co-host Joy Behar recently griped that the show can’t book right-leaning guests because, “They’re scared of us.”

Sure, Joy. Just like I’m “scared” of the 8-year-old Minecraft zombies who’ll be knocking on my door for Kit-Kats tonight.

Here’s a trick to make “The View” more compelling — stop treating guests who don’t agree with you like fun-size Snickers bars. It’s OK to have more than one.

Pretty payday

Julia Roberts is a genius. Or at least, her agent is.

The Oscar winner isn’t as active in Hollywood as in her box office heyday, but she still convinced a movie studio to pay her $20 million for her to star in “After the Hunt.”

The Me Too-themed drama cast Roberts as a professor torn between a trusted colleague (Andrew Garfield) and a bright student (Ayo Edebiri), who claims said colleague sexually assaulted her.

The film has made just $9 million worldwide and is already fading after two weeks of release. The budget? A reported $80 million, including that hefty price tag for the erstwhile “Pretty Woman.”

Paying 1995 rates in 2025 — when even the most beloved Oscar-winner can’t guarantee butts in seats? Well, Hollywood is the land of make-believe.

Billion-dollar baby

You first, Billie.

Androgynous crooner Billie Eilish is taking a bold stand against billionaires. The “Bad Guy” singer addressed a room full of rich, powerful people to accept an “innovator” award from the Wall Street Journal Magazine. Said room included mega billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, apparently.

She used the moment to lecture the ultra rich.

“Love you all, but there’s a few people in here that have a lot more money than me. … If you’re a billionaire, why are you a billionaire? No hate, but yeah, give your money away, shorties.”

Set aside the economic ignorance, the body shaming, and the fact that she’s a millionaire many times over. She just cut a gargantuan check to help defeat, check notes, “climate justice.” Why not just go full Joker and set a mountain of cash on fire? At least she could write a song about it …

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Don’t mess with the Zohran

There’s nothing funny about the rise of Zohran Mamdani.

The future New York City mayor is a terror apologist, an anti-Israel zealot, and an economic illiterate. There’s more, but you get the picture. Still, political satirists should have a field day with Mamdani on so many levels.

The ever-present smile. The blazing hypocrisy. The fact that “Escape from New York” is getting an all-too real sequel starting ASAP.

Instead, comedians are standing down. Anyone shocked? A new study by Newsbusters shows that late-night comics are targeting everyone else in the crowded New York mayoral race save Mamdani.

“Only three out of 63 jokes were about the socialist front-runner,” the site tallied. And that doesn’t count comedian turned shill Jon Stewart comparing Mamdani to Jackie Robinson …

Kim K’s moonshot

Reality stars say the darndest things.

It’s easy to poke fun at Kim Kardashian for her choice in suitors. That Kanye West pairing didn’t end well, did it?

Still, Ms. Kim is a savvy business person who transformed a sordid sex tape into a reality show empire. Just don’t ask her to teach a history class anytime soon.

Kardashian is co-starring with actress Sarah Paulson on the TV show “All’s Fair,” and apparently the two are quite chatty behind the scenes. Kardashian loves sharing her conspiracy theories with her co-star, including her belief that America never landed on the moon.

She pointed to a clip of Buzz Aldrin mishearing a question as part of her “proof.” In her defense, maybe she’s trying to recruit Candace Owens to her next reality show gig …

‘Fack’ all

Comedy is truly on the comeback trail.

The woke mind virus is fading. Roasts are back in vogue. The recent “Naked Gun” reboot was funnier than anyone expected. Now, a new trailer for a “Downton Abbey” spoof looks like the year’s brightest surprise.

“Fackham Hall,” hitting theaters December 5, packs more laughs in its two-minute running time than some mainstream comedies. The physical shtick is priceless, and the oh, so stuffy “Downton Abbey” vibe begs for a good satirical swatting.

At this rate, even Jimmy Kimmel might make us laugh before 2025 ends.