Last night’s (not so) Super Bowl: A review

It’s a uniquely American event, so even old chicks like me sometimes tune in. And for those of us who don’t care who wins, our hopes are few and simple: (1) a nice, competitive game, (2) not too many shots of Taylor Swift, (3) no woke preaching, and (4) a few entertaining commercials.

On this basis, we lost. Final score: 3-1.

We know what the He Gets Us people are really saying, which is that it’s not Christian to disagree with their take on illegal immigration, LGBT issues, etc.

Taylor Swift

The one win was not having to watch T-Swift giddily hugging whoever sits up there in the fancy box with her, because there was literally nothing to cheer for. At the 3/4 mark of this game, the score was already 30-something to zero, and I think she might have slipped out to beat the traffic.

The game

The 40-22 score by definition means it was not a competitive game, and something about seeing Patrick Mahomes get sacked eleventy-million times meant he totally failed at being fun to watch (I mean, unless you’re an Eagles fan, obviously). Thanks for nothing, Patrick.

The preaching

As for woke preaching … well, the NFL did remove “End Racism” from the end zones but replaced it with two equally meaningless taglines — “It Takes All of Us” (to do what, exactly?) and “Choose Love.”

Speaking of love, a segment aired where Snoop Dogg and Tom Brady yelled at each other about hate, presumably to show us that hate is bad. I don’t know Tom Brady’s qualifications as a non-hater, but I know that Snoop Dogg made a music video about murdering Trump, so clearly he has much to teach us about “choosing love.”

The commercials

And speaking of bad teaching, the He Gets Us people were back with another message framing Jesus as a political progressive and slyly implying that non-progressive Christians don’t “get” Jesus. Entitled “What Is Greatness?” it shows people helping each other in a variety of ways, including a man washing a spray-painted “Go back” message off a building and a Christian hugging a gay man at a Pride event, all set to the song (appropriately enough) “Personal Jesus.”

Of course, it would be a good thing to clean off that spray-painted message on an immigrant’s home. Also, it’s a good thing to show love to someone at a Pride parade.

But we’re not stupid. We know what the He Gets Us people are really saying, which is that it’s not Christian to disagree with their take on illegal immigration, LGBT issues, etc. And we know they’re saying that because they never, ever refer to the hard things Jesus says, about the foundational need for repentance, about the way being narrow and few finding it.

And that wasn’t the only bad commercial. Right out of the box, one of the very first ads was a real doozy. A heartstring-puller about beating childhood cancer — that turned out to be an ad, ironically enough, for the corporation responsible for an epidemic of turbo cancer in young people. You know, that pharma company whose name rhymes with Lies-Er.

Speaking of lies, the company implied it’s interested in beating cancer with new drugs. No word from the company on existing, inexpensive drugs or protocols that are increasingly being reported as effective against all types of cancers. If you have cancer, don’t wait around for Big Pharma — research all the new and exciting treatments that your Pharma-addicted oncologist won’t tell you about.

Oh, and the NFL ran an ad about a black girl beating an entire team of male football players, which at least made me laugh because that’s a woke fantasy completely divorced from reality.

A few good moments

The halftime performance was unintelligible — Matt Walsh said it was comprised of songs that 90% of America had never heard of, and I guess I’m in that 90%. But there were a couple moments worth noting.

One was a commercial. And after that infuriating ad from Big Pharma, this one from Big Tech was surprisingly, beautifully … human:

And finally, during the performance of the national anthem by Jon Batiste, the stadium screen showed President Trump, and watch what happened:

Was stadium security turning away the haters? In any event, after years of public hostility aimed at Orange Man, how refreshing to hear the Super Bowl crowd roar in approval.

In fact, it was super.