Madonna gorges on MAGA unhappy meal after Trump win

All those ignorant Trump voters worried about the price of food? Let them eat cake, says Madonna.

The Material Girl observed Donald Trump’s re-election by stuffing her face with a special celebratory confection — one bearing the slogan “F*** Trump.”

Academia is the new home for anti-Semitism, meaning young people are going into massive debt for the chance to hate an entire group of people.

A true blow to both MAGA Nation and The PatriarchyTM. How will Trump 2.0 survive?

In Madonna’s defense, she’s come a long way since 2017. That year found her dreaming of blowing up the White House.

Colbert’s cooked

Late-night TV isn’t handling Trump’s re-election quite as well.

Jimmy Kimmel fought back tears on the night following Trump’s landslide victory. John Oliver couldn’t muster the energy to make us laugh … or even try.

Now Stephen Colbert jokes (or confesses?). He’s stress-eating in reaction to the MAGA sequel.

“Over the weekend, what I like to do when I’m feeling stressed out, I cook.”

Wonder if he’s got a recipe for crow.

Glen Powell needs mom’s ‘Mission’ permission

One of the biggest new stars in Hollywood follows a tried-and-true formula for success. Listen to your mother.

Could Glen Powell, who broke out with “Top Gun: Maverick” and anchored the summer hit “Twisters,” replace Tom Cruise in the “Mission: Impossible” franchise?

Not so fast. First of all, no one has confirmed that news.

Secondly, Mama Powell is putting her foot down.

“My mom would never let me do that.” Powell said of the stunt-laden franchise. It’s the “worst gig in town; everybody knows that.”

Mom might have a change of heart if the assignment comes with Cruise-sized hazard pay.

Who’s sorry now?

Adam Carolla has a firm policy when it comes to jokes: no apologies. Ever.

That’s helped him build a sturdy career outside the Hollywood ecosystem. Now he can say whatever he wishes without a cancel culture care in the world.

He’s got company.

Tony Hinchcliffe, the comic who roasted Puerto Rico at President Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally, isn’t sorry either.

The media desperately hoped Hinchcliffe’s “garbage” gag would turn Latinos against Trump.

It didn’t. Just ask the new governor of Puerto Rico, a Republican named Jenniffer Gonzalez.

Tony shared some warm thoughts about both Puerto Rico and its citizens following the election. Then he broke out his Carolla-approved philosophy.

“I apologize to absolutely nobody — not to the Puerto Ricans, not to the whites, not to the blacks, not to the Palestinians, not to the Jews, and not to my own mother, who I made fun of during the set. Nobody clipped that.”

He wasn’t done.

“To the mainstream media and to everybody trying to slander me online, that’s what I do. I go hard and that’s never going to change.”

Dwayne Johnson’s on-set ‘streaming’

OK, who’s gonna tell Dwayne Johnson he can’t use urine bottles on a movie set?

The former Rock is trying to explain a 2024 exposé that said he showed up late to the set of “Red One” … a lot. The superstar’s tardiness set the studio back millions, according to TheWrap.com.

Johnson is denying elements of that story, including the price tag for his tardiness. He does admit to a less substantial part of the narrative. Yes, he does pee in bottles on movie sets to save time.

It’s certainly not the kind of press a movie star craves. The bigger issue in play? “Red One,” an action Christmas comedy co-starring Chris Evans, cost a reported $250 million. The film’s projected box office this weekend? As low as $30 million. That’s hardly a trickle.

B.S. in Beyoncé

Universities have had a terrible, no-good 2024. Academia is the new home for anti-Semitism, meaning young people are going into massive debt for the chance to hate an entire group of people.

There is good news, though, at least on one college front.

Yale University is promising a new course titled “Beyoncé Makes History: Black Radical Tradition, Culture, Theory & Politics Through Music.” Graduates may not be able to make a dime from that knowledge, but they won’t have to hear, “from the river to the sea” chants as much as their peers.