‘May or may not be possessed’: Inside the thriving online market for ‘haunted’ dolls

Dolls are like clowns — they can go from cute to creepy real quick. And for the creepiest of them all, fame and fortune could await.

For every Annabelle or Chucky, however, there are thousands of dolls still languishing in obscurity.

‘I’m not responsible for any hospital visits, death, or nightmares, or any other unfortunate things that may occur,’ the seller warns.

They may not have the brand recognition, but when it comes to the spirit realm, they’re the real deal. At least, that’s what the people selling them say.

Real haunted doll active!

“REAL HAUNTED DOLL ACTIVE! Possessed Malevolent Evil Demonic Spirit Of A Demon,” is how eBay seller hauntedvoodoogirl describes a baby doll she’s selling. With its clean pink dress and bright blue eyes, the doll doesn’t exactly look evil — although the Ouija board behind her does add a hint of spookiness.

A word of caution follows: “Please note, by buying this doll, you are inviting a spirit to come into your home.”

Welcome to the seldom-traveled market of haunted dolls, dummies, and figurines, selling for anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars on auction websites.

Whether you believe in the supernatural or not, it’s clear these dolls have become a lucrative storytelling opportunity for some budding entrepreneurs.

On eBay, there is a plethora of would-be haunted items selling for between $400 and $8,000, with plenty of buyers vying to take them home.

Hauntedvoodoogirl has 202 reviews, with a 100% positive review rating and over 650 sales. Many of these are sales of “haunted” dolls from $100 to $450 — just like the “possessed malevolent evil” baby doll she’s currently trying to move.

Of course, these listings often come with a disclaimer: “It may take months with you to see any activity with a doll when it moves from one location to another, please give it time, very rarely will you see activity immediately, allow the doll time to feel comfortable in your home.”

Serious stories for serious money

As you move into the higher end of the possessed doll market, the backstories get more complex — yes, the backstories.

An allegedly possessed mannequin selling for $400 comes from a “well-known psychic medium” who claims to have been “practicing Wicca for 55 years.”

Skeptical? Does finding out that she moved next to a cemetery and purchased a hearse to feel closer to the “spirits” change your mind? What about the guarantee that every doll receives a midnight session that involves communication through meditation, an Ouija board, and even a pendulum, for some reason?

Just know that the principle of “buyer beware” applies: “I’m not responsible for any hospital visits, death, or nightmares, or any other unfortunate things that may occur,” the seller warns.

Got $450 to spend? Perhaps you’d like a life-sized “poltergeist”-haunted vessel. Once you hit this price point, salesmanship goes from jumbled descriptions to full-fledged fan fiction.

“Lillian was only 5 years old when her life was cruelly stolen. … Her parents were physically abusive. … Her mother forced her to light cigarettes on the hot stove, often causing painful burns on her small hands.”

Spooky self-help

Not all dolls have such grim backgrounds. Emma, for example, houses the spirit of a girl born in Michigan (just like the seller!). Emma stumbled upon a book about witchcraft in the library as a young girl, and her learning helped her find self-confidence and respect.

And now she’s ready to pass these on to you. “Emma is going to help you find your strength, stick up for yourself, and to never tolerate disrespect,” the listing promises — all for a small fee of $600.

It’s in the four-figure range that the sales pitches become truly baroque.

Whether it is a $3,000 “authentic demonic doll” or a $5,000 “paranormal” doll encased in a lantern, there’s no shortage of tales to spin.

That “cursed vessel” not only caused alleged financial ruin but car accidents and even six apartment floods. The incidents caused the owner to put the doll in a cage and perform a “protection spell.”

Now, the seller just wants to recoup some money from a generous buyer and allegedly get his or her life back together.

“If you’re crazy enough to pay what I am asking for this doll, then maybe you’ll be able to handle what it brings and the financial ruin it will bring you,” the seller writes.

For experienced owners only

A pair of classic possessed ventriloquist dolls can be yours for just $8,000. Then again, if you’re forking over that much, maybe you’d prefer the reliability of an “active” porcelain doll.

For “experienced” owners of paranormal items only, this doll comes complete with audible footsteps and electromagnetic frequencies.

Here, as in all of these listings, there are no guarantees: Paranormal events could take weeks or even months to happen or may never happen at all. Some listings insist on no refunds, while others end their novellas more honestly, noting that the dolls are for entertainment purposes only.

You know, like blowing all your money in Vegas.

Upselling exorcism

The paranormal doll experience stretches beyond eBay, but the long-standing website is indeed where it has its strongest base. Thousand-word explainers dominate the market there and back up the experience with expensive product.

On other sites, like Facebook Marketplace, the tone is a little less serious. Yes, buyers will still find the “creepy old lady doll” they are looking for, but descriptions tend not to mince words.

“May or may not be possessed. There is no documented evidence of demonic activity, but the dog won’t go in the same room with her.”

And she can be yours for $45.

A pair of dolls that likely would be described on eBay as paranormal fixtures of a forgotten time merit nothing more than a laconic upsell on Facebook: “An exorcism can be performed for $50.”

Still, even with a possessed doll that features its own custom “ghost bike,” Facebook consumers are hard-pressed to find anything that will break the bank.

Which raises the question: Just who’s buying all these expensive eBay dolls — and why?

Shady business?

“I don’t know what to say, to be honest,” collector Efron Monsanto told Align. “As a collector, I find the idea odd, but most items in the space for our type of hobbies are.”

Monsanto routinely goes far and wide seeking out rare and vintage oddities, but even he found the high prices for the dolls baffling.

“For sellers trying to profit off these dolls, I believe they could be taking advantage of the mentally ill and their allies.”

Few of these sellers seem to specialize in the haunted doll trade. Many of the dolls for sale appear to be one-off cash-grabs, sold alongside a catalogue of Pokemon cards, toys, or stuffed animals.

Still, some sellers do focus on a quality product, as evidenced by rave customer reviews.

“I keep coming back to the Seller! Time and time again!” said a buyer of yet another allegedly possessed doll.

Another buyer said her haunted clown has been “very active with me responding when I ask her to light up the catball and poltergeist activity!”

A different customer, who paid $100 for a haunted jewelry box, admitted experiencing no paranormal activity but was still pleased with the purchase.

“I Haven’t Experienced ANYTHING Yet! But, I WILL Say This Box IS LOVELY!!!” the customer wrote.

Even as the prices go up, customers are still happy with their lack of activity, displaying a genuine interest in the authenticity of their purchase, with little expectations.

Harmless fun?

Chrissy Clark, a journalist who specializes in underreported stories, isn’t so sure.

“Who is buying demonic dolls that someone is trying to off-load?” she asked.

“If these dolls are authentic, then there is an obvious spirit of greed that leads people to sell the items instead of destroy them.”