Media madness roundup: Lorenz’s mask shame, CNN’s new gamble, and more

Perhaps we should stop calling the fifth month of the year May and just start calling it Maybe. Like Maybe CNN anchor Jake Tapper will be honest about how much he and his network covered up the Biden presidency. Or, Maybe things are getting better even though the press won’t admit it. Tariffs and trade deals didn’t end the economy, despite media rhetoric. That doesn’t mean all is right with the world. It never is. But our friends on the left always say the sky is falling. Maybe they’re just nuts. And that takes me into the land of crazy news. Here are seven reasons why last month May(be) crazy.

1. Irresistible: It’s always a battle to see which major print outlet is the most ridiculously left-wing. The Washington Post, where democracy used to “die in darkness,” has a strong claim. But the other major player is The New York Times and it’s been that way pretty much my entire life. That’s a long darn time. (Cut me open and count the rings.) Times publisher A.G. Sulzberger made news this month denying all that.

Sulzberger claimed that Gray Lady is “not the resistance.” That’s like saying rain isn’t wet and Tapper isn’t egotistical. You can say it, but nobody should believe you. Instead, he didn’t double down, he billioned down. “We are nobody’s opposition. We’re also nobody’s cheerleader. Our loyalty is to the truth and to a public that deserves to know it,” he pretended. After nearly a decade of attacks on The Donald, along with years pretending Biden ran the White House, Sulzberger’s keyboard probably melted just typing that. 

NEW YORK TIMES PUBLISHER SAYS ‘WE’RE NOT THE RESISTANCE,’ HITS TRUMP FOR ANTI-PRESS RHETORIC

2. Bored in the USA: Aging pop stars like Bruce Springsteen keep their PR teams busy with nonstop drivel. Bruuuuuuce has been a lefty since before Ronald Reagan was in the White House. The Boss and a parade of similarly out-of-touch stars performed “No Nukes” concerts back in 1979. It’s no surprise that now he’s trying to make news bashing President Donald Trump. And, trying to profit from it.

What’s pathetic is how little effort he made. Like him or not, Springsteen has written some amazing lyrics. But his anti-Trump comments read like a 22-year-old’s Huffington Post blog: “[T]the America I’ve written about, and has been a beacon of hope and liberty for 250 years, is currently in the hands of a corrupt, incompetent and treasonous administration.” 

Hardly up to snuff for the man who wrote, “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true? Or is it something worse?” The best part is he’s selling a six-track EP with two of the tracks bashing Trump. From “Born to Run” to “Born to Resist.”

3. Mask maker, mask maker…: The COVID pandemic reaction on left and right stems from foundational differences about how safe we expect to be. Safetyism is why lefties think it’s good to censor speech online and off because words make them feel unsafe. Leftists worship infinite safety. 

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Which takes me to one of my favorite former Washington Post staffers – Taylor Lorenz. That’s because she is still obsessed with COVID. To hear her talk, we should all be living life like John Travolta when he played “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.” 

Her Bluesky feed is … special. “If you’re not masking right now during an ongoing pandemic you should feel shame. In a just world you’d be socially ostracized for cavalierly killing and disabling people.” she wrote. That included Lorenz, “celebrating FREE SPEECH at the PornHub awards!” while wearing a mask. And no, those aren’t old comments. They’re from this May.

4. CNN+ or minus?: We’ve all seen movies where they note the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. CNN, come on down. The lefty cable outfit is doing the Michael Keaton thing from “Multiplicity” and making copies of copies. CNN CEO Mark Thompson announced this month that the network is going to provide a “simple and centralized way” to get all their content.

Naturally, you have to pay. According to The New York Times, “CNN’s new service won’t look like CNN+, its failed $300 million splashy foray into streaming that was stuffed with well-known news and entertainment personalities.” In other words, they don’t have any money, plan to do this on the cheap and are praying like crazy somebody will rain cash. Maybe they will if the network offers a Tapper-free tier. 

5. Knock, knock, who’s there?: In an era of AI videos, stories like this one scream tricks for clicks. Turns out, it’s probably legit. Florida residents had unwelcome visitors – door-to-door gators. According to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, deputies responded after an alligator kept knocking on a door. The men in blue (or whatever gator-wrangling deputies wear) saw the “suspicious” alligator trying to get into a home.

Now, I already view my neighbors to the south with caution because they let gators roam golf courses like eager caddies. But when your future pair of boots knocks on the door and wants in, I want out. That’s how Chubbs Peterson lost his hand. (“Happy Gilmore,” folks.)

6. Florida Man has competition: Readers of this column know I love animal stories – from gators to baby goats. This month, we’ve got a raccoon with a meth pipe. Shockingly, this story comes from Ohio, not Florida. Springfield Township Police Department found Chewy the raccoon gnawing on the end of a meth pipe. As Mike Gavin from NBC New York put it, “No, the raccoon will not be charged with drug possession.”

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Acting on the tip from Chewy, police searched the vehicle and the driver “was charged with three counts of possession of drug paraphernalia and cited for driving under suspension.” Raccoons, taking a bite out of crime!

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7. Size matters: Before Antifa loons started ripping down statues, leaving your mark on the world with a statue in your honor was a sign of import. From the Pietà to the Lincoln Memorial, some of the greatest works of art honor famous people looking their best. Others are iconic and stand for freedom, like the Statue of Liberty. Then there’s “Grounded in the Stars,” by artist Thomas J Price. It’s a temporary bronze statue in Times Square of a 12-foot-tall Black woman looking kind of … plump.

Now, as a man of some girth, I might have let this one fade into well-deserved obscurity, except the official Times Square website’s description of Grounded in the Stars bashed the two great men who have permanent statues there: “Installed at ground level on a wide low base, the work invites engagement with the hundreds of thousands of people who traverse the plazas each day, the woman in Grounded in the Stars cuts a stark contrast to the pedestaled permanent monuments — both white, both men — which bookend Duffy Square, while embodying a quiet gravity and grandeur.” 

“Both white, both men,” like that’s somehow a bad thing. The two figures are famed Army Chaplain Father Francis P. Duffy, the author of “You’re a Grand Old Flag,” and, none other than himself, George M. Cohan. Price was just doing his own version of tearing down statues. He failed.

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