Crib Notes Version of ‘Why I Hate the CR’ aka ‘Shut It Down’

OMG. What a crap sammich.

Ed’s already gone through the appalling nerve of Dicky Durbin trying to boost his pay like he was a UAW or UPS worker or something.

I hate to break it to you, Senator – but there is sympathy in America when the unions start squawking. Those guys WORK, Durbin.

As I know, my intellectual heavy-weight counterparts are already chewing this thing up (See? I can be nice to David), so I thought I’d just bring the stenographer’s version of the bull*coughs*it that’s in this abomination.

So, an X friend of mine (not ‘ex’ – we still talk!) who had his own site keeping track of government waste fraud and abuse documenting bull*coughs*it contract awards long before DOGE was a gleam in anyone’s eye (RandoLand) just found a few fun infringements.

One means you go to jail for making naughty pictures even if they’re meant as parody (quibble about the meaning of ‘consent’ later) and five more years of funding for electric buses!

WEEEEEE!

That’s SO what we voted for.

Oh we’re also extending the scam electric bus program that typically costs over a million dollars for each bus.

Another five years of that. Thanks GOP! pic.twitter.com/MwG03ns01y

— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) December 18, 2024

And who needs POTATUS’ pardons when Congress blocks itself from issuing subpoenas?!

YAY! MY FAVORITE!

Shifty Schiff, the whole J6 committee, and co-conspirators get Trump-proofed!

HOLY SH*T: Buried Deep within the CR, Congress is allowed to block subpoenas for “House Data”

THIS INCLUDES EMAILS. Which means this could prevent investigations into the J6 Committee

ABSOLUTELY NOT, MAKE THIS VIRAL ON 𝕏 pic.twitter.com/KsThs9TqAm

— MAGA Voice (@MAGAVoice) December 18, 2024

But wait! There’s more. Besides the pay raise Ed raked Dicky over the coals for, now they also don’t have to get their health insurance off the Obamacare exchanges they make the rest of us schlubs use. Isn’t that neat-o?

They can go back to being the special flowers they always thought they were.

YAY! MY FAVORITE!

So I see the CR allows members of Congress to get off the Obamacare exchanges! Rules for thee… pic.twitter.com/AxbtUyVNVL

— Tom Fitton (@TomFitton) December 18, 2024

And all that COVID authoritarian stuff we demanded we never, EH-VAH wanted to see again because it was un Gott danged American?

Fooled.

You.

The bill makes it all even biggerer and betterer.

The CR/Omnibus also expands the Pandemic and All Hazards Preparedness and Response Act.

This allows for vaccine and mask mandates, vaccine passports, intentional emergency powers, gain of function research.

It also created BARDA, the agencies responsible for mRNA/GOF research. pic.twitter.com/TZU3gnzivH

— Natalie Winters (@nataliegwinters) December 18, 2024

I mean, it goes on and on and gobsmackingly on.

But, for once, it looks as if the hotheads may prevail over the critters who came up with this.

Elon and Vivek (who is wading through every page and line of this abomination) have both come out hard against it and favor a shutdown if that’s what it takes. That, in turn, upset the usual go along to get along congressional caucus.

🚨BREAKING: Republicans are complaining that Elon’s crusade against the CR bill is causing bleeding support amongst House Republicans.

Oh no…somebody stop him… 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/p5Li3UmKZY

— Autism Capital 🧩 (@AutismCapital) December 18, 2024

But the poison pills – which are throughout – are so completely contrary to the wishes of the voters that normally complacent GOP members of Congress are starting to grow a pair and raise the Jolly Roger.

Rep. Kat Cammack R-FL says the CR+ deal is ‘doing incredible damage’ within House GOP ranks. pic.twitter.com/LGiH5VGINM

— Jamie Dupree (@jamiedupree) December 18, 2024

Oh, she’s a pirate now!

I know it’s hard to imagine, but knives are now out for Speaker Mike Johnson, where once a cross word was never heard before. 

Moderates see the entire exercise as a betrayal. It’s like a Democratic wet dream come true, and they want nothing to do with it.

GOP Rep. Victoria Spartz Reveals Speaker Johnson Didn’t Even Talk to Moderate Republicans Before Pushing CR

“Listen, we’re a divided government, but we don’t have to be ruled by Democrats. Speaker Johnson didn’t even talk to moderate Republicans, not just to conservatives. He… pic.twitter.com/0nFv74mbGb

— Kyle Becker (@kylenabecker) December 18, 2024

…”Listen, we’re a divided government, but we don’t have to be ruled by Democrats. Speaker Johnson didn’t even talk to moderate Republicans, not just to conservatives. He usually doesn’t even care to hear us. You know, that’s unfortunate.” 

“He just made the deal, you know, with Democrats, put a bunch of slush funds, what they wanted, put little things that maybe he can try to push some Republicans to vote and try to sell it as a victory, which is really another, you know, Christmas present to Chuck Schumer. And that’s what was expected by Republicans, and he’s been dishonest in this.” 

“I think at some point enough is enough, and if we don’t start governing, the country is on a calamity course. So I hope next Congress will grow the backbone and start dealing with the swamp, because fiscally, the country is really in huge, huge trouble.” 

“The failure of this leadership to listen to every voice within the party, not just the extremes but the moderates who represent a significant portion of the population, is disheartening. Decisions are being made without transparency or accountability, fueling frustration and distrust.” 

“While certain factions within the government celebrate these deals as victories, they fail to recognize the long-term repercussions on the nation’s stability and financial health.”…

 Lots of ‘nopes, I’m out‘ on X.

I was elected to represent the people of SC-05 and fight for the American people.

We were promised a CLEAN CR and that’s what the American people deserve.

I’d rather shut the government down before considering this CRomni… pic.twitter.com/QcinMEzUgW

— Rep. Ralph Norman (@RepRalphNorman) December 18, 2024

Pressure is building big time on Johnson to drop the damn thing like the flaming bag of dog poo it is and get done what should have happened in the first place.

A clean CR.

NEW: Speaker Johnson is now considering a “plan B” for his spending bill after receiving fierce backlash from Elon Musk on X, according to Politico.

Good.

According to the outlet, Johnson is considering producing a “clean CR” and dealing with the other issues later on when… pic.twitter.com/CKcFOn4A9o

— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) December 18, 2024

…According to the outlet, Johnson is considering producing a “clean CR” and dealing with the other issues later on when Trump is in office. 

“That would mean dropping disaster aid, $30 billion for farmers, and a one-year extension of the farm bill, among other items, at least for now,” Politico reported. 

Musk previously said he would “fight tooth and nail” to make sure the government is using taxpayer money the right way. 

He wasn’t kidding.

I lurves me the squirm from the regulars on the Hill. I don’t know that they’ve ever been THIS uncomfortable in their political lives.

House Republicans say that 𝕏 and Elon Musk had a huge impact on the CR Bill vote.

We the People don’t want ‘business as usual’ anymore

We have Trump a mandate, either tow the line or get out of the way.

Otherwise prepare to lose your job! pic.twitter.com/moWeiizSZz

— Diligent Denizen 🇺🇸 (@DiligentDenizen) December 18, 2024

The speaker had better get moving on an acceptable alternative because Trump and Vance just cut the legs out from under him. 

Joint statement from Trump & Vance on the CR: pic.twitter.com/5qTutyVcUK

— Alayna Treene (@alaynatreene) December 18, 2024

IF DEMOCRATS WANT TO SHUT THE GOVERNMENT DOWN, CALL THEIR BLUFF

Yo, ho, ho.

That’s the answer we voted for.

And poof!

Before local press tries to spin this, watch this video. We will be getting disaster aid but the current rendition of the CR is being pulled from the floor. It’s a bad deal for America. Was terrible to try to put on the floor in the first place. pic.twitter.com/aQKhVgysju

— Anna Paulina Luna (@realannapaulina) December 18, 2024

YO, HO, HO