Daddy’s Arrived II: Dimon Takes the Belt Off on JPMorgan Workers Agitating to Work From Home

Remember what Mel Gibson said about Donald Trump when he came to Los Angeles to meet with Karen Bass and Gavin Newsom? “Daddy arrived,” Gibson quipped when Trump tore into local and state officials during the wildfires, “and he’s taking his belt off.”

Well, Daddy just came home to JPMorgan Chase too. CEO and longtime Democrat fundraiser Jamie Dimon called an all-hands meeting when 1,300 of his employees signed a petition to reverse his Return to Office policy, in which Dimon angrily told workers to either come back to the office or find a new employer. In an expletive-filled rant (NSFW), Dimon made it very clear that he’s Daddy, and the petition-signers can go pound sand:

JAMIE DIMON FINDS HIS BALLS IN LEAKED JPMORGAN AUDIO.

This is some of the best stuff I’ve heard all week.pic.twitter.com/wvWdbTYPld

— Citizen Free Press (@CitizenFreePres) February 14, 2025

JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon doubled down on his plan to scrap the bank’s work-from-home policies, launching into a foul-mouthed tirade against staffers angry about returning to the office, according to a report.

During a raucous town hall meeting Wednesday, Dimon tore into a petition — signed by nearly 1,300 workers — over the axing of COVID-era hybrid policies that allowed employees to work from home two days a week.

“Don’t waste time on it. I don’t care how many people sign that f—–g petition,” Dimon said, according to a leaked recording obtained by Barron’s.

JPMorgan already plans to lay off 1,000 workers, according to a report that came out just before this town hall meeting. Dimon might just decide to choose the names on the petitions as the list of terminations, and might end up improving the internal culture even more. 

According to Reuters via the NY Post, though, the petitioners may try to unionize to retain their work-from-home privileges:

Some employees even sought advice from the hard-left Communications Workers of America union about forming a guild, CWA campaign leader Nick Weiner told Reuters.

Ahem. Dimon is in the process of building a new state-of-the-art office building. Employees in the financial sector are among the best-compensated workers in America. What exactly about their work environment is so onerous that they need protection from a union? The requirement to actually show up and work? You poor bankers you!

One has to wonder whether Trump has set an example with a broader cultural impact, too. The reason why Trump’s favorability has rapidly ascended since his election rather than before it is the clear contrast of a vacant and rudderless Joe Biden and an example of robust leadership in action. It is the return of actual leadership exercising legitimate authority and doing so not just unapologetically but with joy and brio. People have responded with enthusiasm and support for real leadership, drowning out the small percentage of whiners trying to run to Mommy, to extend Gibson’s metaphor. 

That kind of dramatic shift matters more than just politically. We often quote our late friend and ally Andrew Breitbart, who argued that politics is downstream of culture — which is largely correct. But culture can also be downstream of politics at times, and the re-emergence of real leadership may be one of those moments. Dimon’s a hard-headed exec anyway, but this rant certainly had good timing if not directly influenced by the example Trump is setting. And that may be even more true when one considers DOGE and Trump’s attempt to rein in a federal bureaucracy that believes itself to be not just a fourth branch of government but the primary wielder of political power in the United States. Daddy has arrived there too, and Elon Musk has Daddy’s belt.

Watch over the next few years to see what happens in business philosophy. I imagine we’ll see fewer books about servant CEOs and inverted pyramids, and more books that channel Laura Ingraham with titles like Shut Up And Work Or I’ll Fire You. That will be even more likely if Trump continues to rack up success after success, and if he really does drain the swamp this time.