Dems New Obsession: Guacamole

Millennials famously love avocado toast. Over the years, I have seen countless stories about avocado toast, which tells you everything you need to know about contemporary life: young people who complain about not having enough money spending ungodly amounts on what I assume is a tasty and healthy snack, but hardly the key to a satisfying life. 

Taylor Lorenz famously bitched about a costly delivery of avocado toast to her New York City apartment, not because the cost was outrageous but because the avocado was not spread on the bread properly. She wanted us to sympathize, but most of us gasped at the price. 

Oh that Taylor Lorenz person is the $22 avocado toast lady. I thought the name was familiar. pic.twitter.com/sv0YrzCMUr

— joe (@joekv) March 10, 2021

Well, the obsession with avocados (which I like too!) is getting even more out of hand. Along with a whole host of Twitter/X posters, the biggest line of attack on Trump’s tariff threats is that the supply of guacamole will be restricted. 

The great avocado apocalypse is upon us. 

Are you ready for guacamole to become a luxury item? That’s one possible outcome of Donald Trump’s immigration and tariff policies, the economist Rebecca Patterson writes.

Read: https://t.co/h54gLf2RpB

— New York Times Opinion (@nytopinion) December 11, 2024

I should reveal a dirty little secret: I have two tubs of guacamole in my fridge right now that I picked up at Trader Joe’s yesterday. I am a guacamole fanboi and am always willing to splurge to get that side of guac when I go Mexican. I even cook with avocado oil at times, as I am trying to cut down on seed oils. 

I’m trying to depict peak whiteness.
It involves a lot of avocado toast. pic.twitter.com/fSUrqlmgaM

— Carl (@HistoryBoomer) December 1, 2023

So I am sensitive to the avocado crisis to come. But COME ON FOLKS! The price of avocados is more often affected by weather and season than whatever tariff may or may not come, and if a temporary spike in the cost of avocados is the price we pay for a better trade deal with Mexico and especially a closed border, I am ready to make the sacrifice for God and country. 

Are you ready for guacamole to become a luxury item?

Donald Trump’s first term is a reminder of the financial damage a trade war can create. After the United States in 2018 imposed tariffs on a range of countries, Canada, China, the European Union, India, Mexico and Turkey struck back against American exports. The Agriculture Department says the retaliation raised the price of farm goods from the United States; that in turn contributed to a decline in export revenues of $27 billion in 2018 and 2019.

Now we’re settling in to watch the same movie again. Hours after Mr. Trump’s late November Truth Social post threatening a new round of tariffs, Mexico’s president, Claudia Sheinbaum, responded, “For every tariff, there will be a response in kind.” Just as a reminder to the incoming administration, about two-thirds of vegetables and almost half of fruit and nut imports to the United States come from Mexico. And how many avocados? Ninety percent.

It’s not just tariffs. American farmers and ranchers, many of whom have supported Mr. Trump, would struggle to find enough workers if he delivers on his vow to deport millions of undocumented immigrants. And financial aid from Washington to offset the damage might not be forthcoming, given the giant size of the federal deficit.

What’s most striking to me about this line of reasoning is that the liberal case for open borders and bowing to the desires of Mexicans and South Americans is that we need Brown people to do our tougher jobs, such as picking fruits and vegetables, mowing our lawns, and preparing our meat. 

Secure Borders > Avocado Toast

Who’s with me? pic.twitter.com/KUi7msPflp

— Kingsley Wilson (@KingsleyCortes) December 12, 2024

You know, the “jobs Americans won’t do.” It really is an argument that the elite class wants an underclass to do the work they consider beneath them. These are the people who view anybody who does what Mike Rowe calls “Dirty Jobs” as an underclass and who apparently are worried that white people might have to get paid a higher wage than an illegal immigrant who looks less like them and is willing to work for less money. 

Call it the “who will pick the cotton?” line of reasoning–the same reasoning an earlier group of Democrats appealed to when defending slavery. 

I get math isn’t the Left’s strong suit, but if my choice is to pay an extra $12-24 a year for avocados versus my much higher share of the $150 billion spent on illegals, I’ll take the $5 avocado, please. https://t.co/iYHJaY4MtL

— Amy Curtis 🇮🇱 (@RantyAmyCurtis) November 27, 2024

I’ll let you in on another secret: one summer during college, I picked sweet corn in Massachusetts, and indeed the job sucked. It turns out that the June and July dew on cornstalks is really COLD and unpleasant, but the pay was good, and I did it until I came down with mono and couldn’t do much at all other than moan and whine in those few hours I was awake. 

If a labor shortage really does develop, there are legal ways to rectify that and to ensure mutual benefit to the workers, the employers, and the country. No need for cartels to smuggle people in and no need to make legitimate workers who want a better life to hide in the shadows or work for lower wages than they deserve. 

Our current arrangement is hideously unethical–most people involved are exploiters or being exploited, with 300,000 unaccompanied minors lost to God knows where in the US. If tariffs or threats of tariffs can change Mexico’s behavior then I am willing to pay another few dollars to get my avocado fix–especially since the price bump will be temporary. 

I don’t know whether liberals actually think that pointing to the great avocado crisis to come will be persuasive to Trump supporters or whether they really see this as a crisis for themselves. I doubt the latter if buying avocado toast at $22 is a regular occurrence. I can assure you that a little of that $22 was the price of an avocado. 

There is so much wrong with this line of thinking, both economically and especially morally. Americans are not inclined to see crime skyrocket, cities be overrun, and welfare spending skyrocket just to get cheaper avocado toast. 

But apparently New York Times readers are.