Dumb Prince Is Gonna Need His Stupid Wife to Wrap Some More Jams to Sell

I haven’t done anything in a long time about worthless people whom no one cares about other than to watch their self-imposed slow motion train wreck and comment sagely on it…so here I am today.

Litigious British Prince Harry, the ne’er-do-well Duke of Montecito, and still fifth in line to the British throne for some reason, has found himself in a bit of a pickle, thanks to his constant habit of whinging and suing.

Some time ago, after he and his delightful, vapid, social climbing American wife – actress and rumored ‘yacht-girl’ Meghan Markle – ‘stepped back’ as the British press puts it from Harry’s inherent duties as a royal (because everyone’s just so damn mean and royals work too damn hard), the British crown relieved the lazy lad of his royal-level security entourage.

He wasn’t working for crown and country – he and his wanna-be princess were very much into working for themselves – so his father and the Exchequer didn’t see where they had any obligation to foot the bill for the international gadabout as he and she pursued their rapacious dreams.

While protecting their privacy.

Wee Harry, as is his wont, was the victim yet again.

via GIPHY

We just, the snivelly prince sniffled, wanted to be happy.

Prince Harry: Police protection was withdrawn to trap me

The Duke of Sussex believes his police protection was withdrawn in an effort to prevent him and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, from leaving Britain to start a new life.

Speaking to The Telegraph, the Duke described the moment he was told of the decision as “difficult to swallow”, having previously hinted that it was at the heart of the rift with his father, the King.

He suggested he would find it hard to forgive his treatment, adding that his “worst fears have been confirmed” by secret evidence he had heard in court.

The Duke believes his taxpayer-funded security was removed in a failed attempt to force him and Meghan to stay in Britain after he announced that they were stepping back from public duties and moving to the US.

Speaking as he left the Royal Courts of Justice following a two-day appeal hearing over the decision, he said: “We were trying to create this happy house.”

So he sued the government to get his taxpayer-funded, blanket security back.

Tearfully and fearfully staying away from life events in England because it wasn’t safe.

And he waited.

At long last, there’s been a resolution, and Harry is still a loser.

Prince Harry lost his appeal challenging the U.K. government’s decision to strip him of his publicly funded security after he stepped back as a senior royal.

On Friday, the Court of Appeal ruled unanimously that a committee had not treated the Duke of Sussex unfairly when it decided to review his protection on a case-by-case basis each time he visits his home country.

The ruling is likely to leave the 40-year-old with a large bill to pay the U.K. government’s legal fees, in addition to his own lawyers’ costs. It was not immediately clear if the father of two would try to appeal to the U.K. Supreme Court.

At first the selfish bugger attempted a sort of reconciliatory tone – ‘Oh, me poor Da. I don’t know how much longer he’s got…’ kind of gruel.

Prince Harry: I would love reconciliation with my family

Speaking after losing appeal over security, Duke says: ‘There’s no point in continuing to fight… I don’t know how much longer my father has’

The Duke of Sussex has said he would “love” a reconciliation with his family and had no idea how long his father, the King, would live.

Speaking after losing his appeal against the Government over his security, Prince Harry said that “life is precious”.

“I would love reconciliation with my family,” he said. “There’s no point in continuing to fight any more… I don’t know how much longer my father has. He won’t speak to me because of this security stuff.”

Although the King is likely to welcome a potential reconciliation, royal aides may fear that any resumption of communication could one day become material for future books or interviews.

Tears at the heartstrongs, no?

And seriously – who would trust that begrizzled snek?

But no worries. Harry was back to form in a trice – ‘bugger the cranky old man’ was basically the gist of the rest of the interview.

Buckingham Palace has responded to Prince Harry’s bombshell BBC interview, saying his security issues have been ‘examined repeatedly and meticulously by the courts’.

The Duke of Sussex tonight launched a series of scathing attacks on the Royal Family, saying he has been cut off from King Charles ‘who won’t speak to him’.

He told the BBC he did not know how long his father had left to live, adding: ‘I can’t see a world in which I would bring my wife and children back to the UK.’

Prince Harry also said he was ‘devastated’ after losing appeal in court over his security and branded it an ‘establishment stitch-up’.

Saying that he felt ‘let down’, the Duke also blamed the Royal Household for influencing the decision to reduce his security.

Replying to the claims, a Palace Spokesperson said tonight: ‘All of these issues have been examined repeatedly and meticulously by the courts, with the same conclusion reached on each occasion.’

…In a scathing attack on the Royal Family, Harry claimed some of his family could never forgive him for his book, Spare, and said he does not know how long his father has left to live.

And what a smarmy puke – ‘Oh, I’ve learned from the Indians how to live a fulfilling life.’

…’As I learnt through the First Nations, throughout Canada because of the Invictus games their goal in life was always truth and reconciliation and I turned around to them in many conversations and I said reconciliation can’t come without truth.

BARF

He needs to quit philosophizing and start the wife-unit hustling more fake Martha Stewart stuff, because Harry’s going to be stuck with up to as much as £1.5M in legal costs.

Welp.

Guess Meghan best getting wrapping up some more jams to peddle.

Y’all watch – that price is gonna soar and she’ll blame ‘tariffs’ instead of ‘Harry tiffs’https://t.co/TrK0RGWHEM

— tree hugging s*ster 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) May 2, 2025

That Montecito crib doesn’t pay the rent for itself.

Cynic that I am, I do wish them just enough success to enable them to move their grifting circus butts somewhere else although, in Hollywood and all honesty, they’re precisely in the land of hooey where they belong.