How The Rich Get Their Kicks: Micro-Crimes Against Big Corporations

New York City’s upwardly mobile professionals can’t be bothered to pay for their own groceries.

“It sometimes feels like everyone I know steals from Whole Foods. For a certain subset of the city’s wealthy-ish, a little shoplifting on your grocery run has become about as mundane as jaywalking,” writes Nora DeLigter for New York magazine’s Curbed.

DeLigter provides a nice survey of such shoplifters.

A graphic designer who stole a $30 pot of eye cream while purchasing groceries, and was quickly apprehended: “She was about to drop a small fortune on organic potatoes and a heritage turkey — pocketing the eye cream seemed somehow … fair.” (RELATED: ‘Shoplifters Unite’: Flyer Calls For Mass Looting Of DC Supermarket)

A “graphic designer at a high-end fitness brand” who labels every item at the Whole Foods hotbar as “soup.” 

“Tim,” a musician who wiggled his way out of a ticket and a lifetime ban by shouting, “Am I being detained?” Tim “has since continued to steal from Whole Foods.”

A sculptor who had a “system” for shoplifting: “Approach the item with confidence, grab it, then head upstairs to the dining area and surreptitiously place it into her bag.”

“Astrid,” a woman who was running late to therapy when she decided to steal some sushi. She was apprehended and banned from all Whole Foods in the tristate area. Astrid told DeLigter, “I remember thinking it was funny that I could ostensibly continue my habit in Massachusetts, where I’m from.”

NYMag working really hard to avoid the words “stealing” or “shoplifting” here. “When security officers catch you” what, exactly? pic.twitter.com/DoY7PryFkK

— Karol Markowicz (@karol) March 11, 2026

DeLigter is clear. These people are not stealing from Whole Foods out of grave hunger. In fact, they aren’t quite sure why they’re stealing. 

“Some gestured at something like corporate protest; others blamed an unaffordable city. Entitlement, one thief admitted. I’d call it a form of collective nihilism.” 

“Collective nihilism” may be the best diagnosis for this motley crew of graphic designers, casting directors, women who can afford regular therapy, sculptors — yuppies, in short.

“Retail crime creates higher prices for consumers, results in stores having to close their doors, and communities left without vital goods and services,” according to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. U.S. stores lost an estimated $47.8 billion to retail theft in 2025, says Capital One Shopping Research. I imagine yuppies make up a minority of thieves. Nevertheless, their psychology deserves attention.

Robert Putnam, author of “Bowling Alone,” warned in 2000 that our stock of social capital had nosedived. Our stock has continued to decline, perhaps at an accelerating rate. Mass fare evasion is endemic in urban settings. Since installing taller fare gates, Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) is collecting $10 million in new annual revenue from former fare evaders. (RELATED: Soros-Backed Prosecutor Decided To Let Shoplifters Off Easy. It Hasn’t Ended Well For One Wealthy Suburb)

Yuppie shoplifting might be chalked up to rebellion against a universe perceived as devoid of meaning and justice. Corporations serve as a natural proxy for powers beyond our comprehension. 

Follow Natalie Sandoval on X: @NatSandovalDC