I’m Too Sexy for My Car…Well, To Sell It, Anyway

On the last day of what used to be Pride Month – you know, before most everyone regained both their intestinal fortitude and their sanity – I thought this little tidbit would be kind of an ironic way to sign the fading rainbow days away.

Bid a less-than-fond adieu to the weary woke, as it were.

To appreciate it, we have to look back at the fanfare with which a staid but incredibly sexy iconic automotive brand announced it was ‘rebranding.’

No more British green, no quiet growl of barely leashed power concealed under supple, menacing bodies looking as if they were sculpted to flow effortlessly through a gale force wind…or a time warp complete with throaty roar at each gear shift.

Jaguar wanted no more of this.

GAH-RROOWLLLLL

Give me a minute…

Okay. I’m better.

Tata Motors, which has owned the venerated British car company since 2008, thought  – or got told – it was time to spruce the old sex symbol up. Too dated, too British, too something.

After all, even Beckham had grey hair now.

So Jaguar got itself a hot new advertising firm and launched its edgy, in-your-face, fabulous redo.

And the world got this.

COPY NOTHING

And immediately went, ‘WTF is THAT?’

We weren’t being insensitive to their artistry, either. It was pretty much the general reaction worldwide.

‘Biggest downgrade in history’: Jaguar’s ad revealing rebranded logo sparks backlash, Elon Musk asks, ‘Do you sell cars?’

Jaguar, the iconic British luxury carmaker, unveiled its redesigned logo with an unconventional video advertisement, possibly aimed at stressing its shift towards an all-electric future. However, the ad has faced widespread criticism, with both social media users and industry professionals questioning its execution.

Wait….are you trying to tell me that this group of people doesn’t appeal to Jaguar’s target audience? pic.twitter.com/Wy5GDZodIq

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) June 30, 2025

Go figure, huh?

Say…who IS Jaguar’s ‘target’ audience? Did anyone think to double-check?

The company woke up pretty quickly that this was perhaps not the approach they needed, and, last month, after almost half a year of being the butt of industry jokes, they dumped the quirky jerks who had come up with this catastrophic, gut busting ad campaign.

After Jaguar launched a disastrous complete rebranding campaign last year, it has finally dumped the ad agency behind it. We’re honestly surprised this didn’t happen sooner after the storied British luxury brand was mercilessly mocked for what many found to be a bizarre, “woke” ad campaign.

Two reports, one from Daily Mail, another from The Telegraph, claim Jaguar is in fact getting ready to dump its current ad agency despite a contract lasting into next year.

In case you don’t recall, the original rebranding was initially unveiled in November 2024 ahead of the new concept Jaguar being revealed in December. The initial shock of the marketing materials put out by the automaker was quickly followed by open mockery as the company encouraged people to “delete ordinary” and “live vivid.”

There’s one thing wanting to be cutting edge. But it’s a whole ‘nuther bag of worms when you cut your own throat doing so, and it seems that schmaybe Jaguar should have been a lot quicker cutting the cord on the purple and pink people.

Or thrown them off a figurative cliff before they could drive Jaguar sales off a literal one.

OOPS

Too late.

Honestly, I’ve never heard of anything tanking this badly this fast in my life, and that includes woke old Target and maybe even Bud Light.

…One of Britain’s most storied luxury brands is barely selling cars.

Jaguar recorded only 49 new vehicle registrations across Europe in April 2025, according to data from the European Automobile Manufacturers’ Association (ACEA).

Compared to the 1,961 cars sold during the same month the previous year, this 97.5% plunge marked one of the steepest declines for a premium carmaker in recent history.

This marks one of the steepest year-over-year (YoY) sales collapses ever recorded for a premium automaker.

Woke flag’s looking a little tattered, eh?

If you ‘copy nothing’ else in your life, this would be the lesson to take from this latest episode of Business 101.

Woke ruins everything.