The Redemption of the Slingblade Singularity

I have to admit to an anxious moment about four days ago – one of those, ‘Oh, noes! I hope it’s not bad news!‘ – when word came that Senator John Fetterman had suddenly face planted, and been rushed to the hospital. The big man, and there’s no denying he’s big, could do some serious hurt to himself just in tumbling to earth from that great height, let alone the myriad of other physical problems he is plagued with.

Soon, we heard from his staff that Fetterman had suffered a ‘ventricular fibrillation flare-up,’ passed out, but was in good spirits and going to be fine.

Statement from Sen. Fetterman’s Spokesperson:

“During an early morning walk, Senator Fetterman sustained a fall near his home in Braddock.

Out of an abundance of caution, he was transported to a hospital in Pittsburgh.

Upon evaluation, it was established he had a ventricular…

— U.S. Senator John Fetterman (@SenFettermanPA) November 13, 2025

…Out of an abundance of caution, he was transported to a hospital in Pittsburgh.

Upon evaluation, it was established he had a ventricular fibrillation flare-up that led to Senator Fetterman feeling light-headed, falling to the ground and hitting his face with minor injuries.

Senator Fetterman had this to say: ‘If you thought my face looked bad before, wait until you see it now!’

He is doing well and receiving routine observation at the hospital. He has opted to stay so doctors can fine-tune his medication regimen.

Senator Fetterman is grateful for the EMTs, doctors, and nurses who are providing his care.”

Well, everything but his already memorably craggy mug. That had taken some abuse on the way down, which required repairs to be effected. Like, at least twenty-some-odd stitches or something.

One hits hard, arriving from a great altitude.

Everyone except the unrepetent mutants who now occupy the Democratic Party rejoiced in the good news, delighted that a fellow who has somehow wormed his way into everyone’s heart was gonna be okay.

In what is now classic Fetterman, he released a photo of his banged-up mug to go with the ‘If you thought I was a hunk before’ statement.

John Fetterman shows off 20 stitches after hospital discharge https://t.co/7hl08IIoG4 pic.twitter.com/6gb9NR3RAW

— The Independent (@Independent) November 16, 2025

The entire episode and our collective sigh of relief, not to mention the outpouring of honest affection from the opposing side of the aisle, has me musing on how far Fetterman has risen in the estimation of rational people. And how far he’s fallen in the eyes of rabidly foaming progressives, since he first lumbered out of his Pennsylvania Lieutenant Governor’s office in a humongous black bowling shirt to campaign for the open U.S. Senate seat.

There was no way, I thought, that this grunting, inarticulate Uncle Festerish goon is going to take on Dr. Oz and win. And I said so.

The goonishly malevolent, Uncle Fester-ish John Fetterman, Democrat running for U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania, is shaping up to be even more of a real PEACH, as more questionable escapades of his roll out into wider public view. How on earth did he ever get elected Lt.Gov. with all this trash baggage, less mind stay alive as a serious contender for a Senate seat?

As the campaign days began heating up and the pressure built, Fetterman became even more surly, and then he disappeared. It turned out he had a major stroke in May of 2022, and had to finish the campaign using written prompts from a computer because he couldn’t process verbal inputs or outputs properly.

It was excruciating to watch, and everyone wondered how on earth this man was fit for the job.

Worse, they had to hold their breaths, hoping his wife, Brazilian emigre Gisele, who had impressed no one and alienated everyone – as Rolling Stone said, when Fetterman had his stroke, Gisele became a ‘political star,’ and man did she take to it like a fish to water – wouldn’t be the senate replacement designate, God forbid the man faltered further, or worse.

There were fights over his sweat-shorts, sneakers, and hoodies on the Senate floor. 

Fetterman disappeared again, and it was revealed he’d entered Walter Reed for severe depression. 

Senator John Fetterman has admitted himself into Walter Reed Medical Center to receive treatment for clinical depression, based on a recommendation from the attending physician of Congress, reports @MacFarlaneNews. https://t.co/4G16yUxJvd pic.twitter.com/obaWTD8HoV

— CBS Mornings (@CBSMornings) February 17, 2023

People began seriously questioning why this man had been allowed to continue the campaign, let alone be sworn in as a United States senator, when his fragile state of health was obviously more delicate than first revealed. Were Democrats and his ambitious wife so odiously focused on winning that they were literally sacrificing the man’s life?

Gisele Fetterman, because Fetterman’s recovery depended on REST RIGHT THEN. All the rest in the world makes no difference to Biden.

If Fetterman loved her husband instead of the campaign and possible prize at the end, there should have been no question, even if HE insisted.… https://t.co/hiwEnEfrRD

— tree hugging sister 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) February 16, 2023

A strange thing began happening around this time, even as Gisele measured the drapes in anticipation of moving into her husband’s office when he vacated it.

Republicans’ sympathy for his health was engaged, yes, not to mention being outraged by the overall perfidy displayed by Democrats in what looked to be another mentally challenged candidate cover-up. But Fetterman began to not speak the progressive language exclusively.

There were moments of such clarity that they were breathtaking, especially considering they came from one who was once considered an heir to Bernie Sanders.

In October of 2023, there was a post-October 7th gathering to support Israel on the National Mall. John Fetterman was there, wrapped in an Israeli flag.

John Fetterman using his hoodie strings to tie an Israeli flag onto himself as a cape is the most bipartisan act I’ve ever seen from a Senator. pic.twitter.com/JNcdA3GOfv

— Kate Hyde (@KateHydeNY) November 14, 2023

In December, he shocked The View harpies into silence when they wanted a George Santos pile-on by pointing out Bob Menendez was still a senator and not a single Democrat was trying to evict him from his chair.

HOLY FETTERMAN, Batman.

💝👍🇺🇸 https://t.co/mE6OINkWag

— tree hugging sister 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) December 1, 2023

By the turn of the next year, Fetterman was in a suit and frustrating Democrats at every turn. I asked whatever aliens were holding the real Fetterman to please continue doing so.

It seems they have.

As his party slides into hate and homicidal, sociopathic, TDS-infused madness, John Fetterman has risen above the cacophony of vitriol and division to be about the only voice of calm and reason in the entire mob.

John Fetterman brings the Kennedy Center to complete silence as he delivers this emotional message on stage:

“I know and I love people who voted for President Trump. They are NOT fascists, they’re NOT Nazis, they’re NOT trying to destroy the Constitution.”

“I REFUSE to call… pic.twitter.com/f9U8tnYlJy

— Vigilant Fox 🦊 (@VigilantFox) October 16, 2025

…“I REFUSE to call people Nazis or fascists. I would never compare anybody — anybody to Hitler.”

“Like Charlie Kirk, all I could say is let people grieve — give people the space. I’m not going to use that terrible thing and that assassination to make my argument and try to put out my views.”

“It’s like, my God, he’s a father that had his neck blown out by a bullet. And now people have forgotten: President Trump was in my state — was shot in the head. Could you imagine where our nation would be if he were hit in the same way as Kirk? We really got to turn the temperature down.”

As if it were some unacceptable aberration of nature to be a decent human being if you want to be a Democrat.

Senator Fetterman:
“I’ve drunk deeply of the venom both the left and the right…the most poisonous, bitterest, is the FAR LEFT.”

“They want me to DIE. Or ‘were cheering for your next stroke.’ Or ‘why couldn’t your depression won?'”

“They even have the graphic GIF, a stroke in… pic.twitter.com/ar8Zda8Zwi

— Farm Girl Carrie 👩‍🌾 (@FarmGirlCarrie) November 13, 2025

…”They want me to DIE. Or ‘were cheering for your next stroke.’ Or ‘why couldn’t your depression won?'”

“They even have the graphic GIF, a stroke in my head, cheering at that. And they said, ‘Dr. let us down, why did they have to save his life?’ ‘I want him to die,’ literally cheering for a stroke. I don’t know where that comes from.”

Democrats are truly evil people.

I am happy to say I was right about that John Fetterman in 2022, and I am so delighted to see this version now. He’ll never be a Republican, of course not.

Why can’t we just appreciate a deeply decent, rational human being on the other side and applaud him for the tremendous moral courage it takes in this current climate to stand up to the noise?

I certainly do.

He’s a big target, and maybe he can be a big beacon for those who want to do the right thing but are scared to death.

The guy who reminded me of Slingblade three years ago has transformed into someone I’d gladly have as a neighbor I could argue with, lend tools to, and sit in the backyard with a brewski after the day is done.

That’s quite a redemption story.

Stay well, Senator Fetterman. Stay well.

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