Politics

What Does Unconditional Surrender for Iran Look Like?

Jim Taft
By Jim Taft 17 Min Read
What Does Unconditional Surrender for Iran Look Like?

Since the war in Iran began 11 days ago, especially after wave upon wave of successful strikes by U.S. and Israeli forces killed Iranian leadership, destroying most of their implements of mass destruction in the process, Donald Trump has been peppered by the press with what the end game is. What is the exit strategy? How does the President define success? 

In the bravado we’ve come to expect from 45-47, his answer was very straightforward – unconditional surrender. 





So what does unconditional surrender look like? Is it the proverbial white flag waved by the last living remnant of the evil regime that’s been plaguing Iran and the rest of the free world for 47 years? Sure, it could be that. But might it also look like the will to fight has left the regime’s rank and file goon squads, the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps, and the Basij forces? Absolutely. 

One of the first signals that things are definitely not all right for the mullahcracy arose after a man our side believed to be just as dead as his father, wife, son, and roughly 40 other senior regime loyalists, Mojtaba Khamenei, was presented verbally to Iran and the world as the next Supreme Leader. In order to dispel the rumors that he was not Ayatollah Bernie weekending in Tehran, he was to give public remarks in half an hour. That was the morning of March 8. We’re nearing the 100-hour anniversary of Mojtaba’s big reveal. In the meantime, this is to what we were treated. 

I’d love to tell you this is a bad joke and that I fell for just one drop of bad info in a sea of disinformation and propaganda online. Nope. I checked and rechecked. This was a thing. Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei has been introduced as the next Supreme Leader…of wood pulp. 

We’ll get to the serious stuff in a little bit, but you don’t have to let your mind wander too far in order to imagine the fun being had at Iran’s expense right now. There are hundreds, possibly thousands, of posts mocking this stunt by now. Some of my favorites? Secretary of State Marco Rubio’s new job. 





Another is the unveiling of the U.S. countermeasure perfected to take on the challenge of Iran’s new leader. Meet the U.S.S. Cardboard.

Another is a mock-up of Fox News anchor Laura Ingraham visiting the Oval Office, with Donald Trump revealing a new portrait. 

By early afternoon on Tuesday, two-dimensional cardboard had given way to three-dimensional…Lego’s? 

California Governor Gavin Newsom is a fool, a clown, a charlatan, and crooked as a dog’s hind leg. Enabling him, poorly, in the propaganda department is a foul-mouthed little bridge troll named Isaac “Izzy” Gardon. Whether it’s the all-caps tweeting, aliena voce as Donald Trump, or the bizarre cartoonish videos, to the f-bombs tossed at reporters questioning the wisdom of Newsom referring to a largely Black audience as being just as dumb and illiterate as he is, Izzy is the director of communications for Newsom. Everything you can’t stand about the presentation of Gavin, Izzy is directly responsible. And now I’m beginning to wonder if Izzy has been given a leave of absence to go do for the Iranians what he’s done for Newsom here in the Golden State. I swear if I wake up to a new Iranian short called “Team Iran” featuring a claymation Mojtaba Khamenei limping across the floor and singing, “I’m so ronery,” I think Trump and Netanyahu can pretty much put a wrap on things sooner rather than later. 

Of course, there are elements of concern that are being directly addressed by the Americans and Israelis, and that is mining and other implements of sabotage in the Strait of Hormuz. There have been three cargo ships attacked while going through the Strait. 





The President warned the Iranians not to do it, or else the penalty would be a dialing up of attacks twentyfold. By the evening of Tuesday, it was reported by U.S. officials that 16 small attack boats with mines or other underwater weapons on them had been blown up. That’s a fine start, but there’s more work to be done. Israel is playing the long game here, working a deal with Somaliland to possibly base there and ensure the Strait is safe to pass well after the kinetic phase to neuter Iran concludes. 

The President, on Wednesday morning, hinted that the curtain on the hot war might come down earlier than expected, because he claims they are running out of targets to destroy. 

I can think of a few more, including the Cardboard Nepo Ayatollah, Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf, the speaker of the Iranian Parliament, Ali Larjani, the secretary of the Supreme National Security Council, and Gholan Hossein Mohseni Ejei, the Chief Justice of Iran. Oh, and this guy, too. 





In addition, a good day’s work in redecorating the southern coast of Iran until it looks like Gaza City would probably do just fine. 

But what about the Iranians’ will to fight? As explosions rock regime soldiers and police forces in a 360-degree radius all day and all night, at what point do they begin to exit, stage left? And if enough of them follow suit, who’s left to enforce the will of whoever or whatever is in charge of Iran? What’s left of the military junta running the country seems to have turned into mole people. Here’s the assessment by Israeli Defense Minister Israel Katz.

As for the rank and file forces that aren’t filling the morgues, defections and desertions, and in some cases, fleeing the country entirely, have begun.

It’s not just the IRGC who are beginning to lose numbers in its ranks. It’s also the Basij forces. The Basij, you’ll remember, are the ones who mowed down 35,000 or so Iranians in the streets protesting just a few weeks ago. Their commander, Asadollah Badfar, has reportedly begun looking for his 72 virgins.





If Badfar is gone, it’s not surprising that some of the Basij forces are seeing the writing on the wall and want out. 

C14 News in Israel is reporting the IRGC blue flu is hitting them pretty hard right now. 

If Cardboard Khamenei is actually alive, and there are a lot more reasons to believe he’s not, he’s not very mobile right now. He’s at best in critical condition, meaning he needs constant medical care. How long do you think it’ll be before the Americans and/or Israelis have eyes on him? I would suspect that if past is prologue, by the time this column goes live, his whereabouts will be known, and it will be our choice as to when his cardboard goes out for final recycling. 

Donald Trump is very wise in keeping with his tradition of ambiguity on big decisions to maintain the element of surprise. The war could go on for a week, it could go on for six months. I have no idea. But there is nothing left for the Iranians to throw at the world than they already have. All they can offer now is what’s already not worked too well, but in fewer numbers as their stockpiles get destroyed in real time all around them. 

Even the Ukrainians are branching out and getting involved in the effort to defeat Iran. Three separate teams of experts on how to defeat drone warfare, arguably the only weapon of destruction with which the Iranians have had any marginal success at causing property damage, have been dispatched to the Middle East. Russia’s drones are either Iranian-made or Iranian-inspired, so the Sunni Arab countries of Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, and Qatar are bringing in these Ukrainians who have figured out how to solve, or at least more effectively counter the drone problem. 

As for China and Russia, all the talk a week ago that they were going to get involved and reluctantly help out the Iranians with weapons and supplies, that seems to have vaporized the second Iran threatened to mine the Strait. For now, oil is still being allowed to traverse the Strait bound for Beijing. For how long is anyone’s guess, especially if there are booby traps all through that U-turn curve through the Strait.  

If you want to know what unconditional surrender looks like, it’ll look like the fight gets turned over to the people of Iran, who achingly yearn for freedom after nearly 50 years under the boot of a death cult. Once the Americans and Israelis cross the final targets off their list, however long that takes, and the people begin to flood into the streets once again, this time without lines of Basij machine guns firing back at them, what’s left of this despotic regime will sing a chorus of “I’m So Ronery” before the mob finishes them off. That’s unconditional surrender. That means we win, Israel wins, the Iranian freedom fighters win, and theocracy loses once and for all. 







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