Bear of Little Brains: Yo, Parents! Have New Year’s ‘Safe’ Space for Kids Cuz It Ain’t the City

Chicago has been wrapped in the holiday spirit.

Especially its combative, bellicose, ebullient (following the archaic definition) mayor, Brandon ‘Bear of Little Brains’ Johnson.

If there’s anything the mayor, a former teacher and now teachers’ union tool, knows, it’s children.

These were his ‘silly youths’ after the city’s tree lighting ceremonies in November.

Mob Violence, Chaos and Mass Shootings in Downtown Chicago during Christmas Lighting Events pic.twitter.com/gnPGYghWFH

— SubX.News® (@SubxNews) November 22, 2025

Bullets flying and dead people.

As JB Pritzker hobnobs across Italy and campaigns for president, his hometown is Mogadishu on Lake Michigan.

Only in Chicago…can a Christmas tree lighting turn into a melee… https://t.co/kQEdBFACXr

— Steve Cortes (@CortesSteve) November 22, 2025

YOUTHS

Obviously, even a tiny brain as dense as the Bear’s knows Chicago’s children can be little lethal dangers unto themselves. So when he goes among them distributing faux Christmas cheer and presents someone else provided, he makes sure to bring his hefty Chicago Police Department security posse with him. 

You can’t trust the little buggers, and Johnson wasn’t about to start.

Someone please help us out here.

What is @ChicagosMayor so fearful of he requires a dozen CPD at a toy giveaway? pic.twitter.com/mQB4PjY9Ir

— Chicago Contrarian (@ChicagoContrar1) December 27, 2025

So Christmas has come and gone, and did the kiddies and locals take it easy out of respect over the big day?

Dang. 

It doesn’t really seem as if anything chilled out in the balmy forty-degree air of a relatively temperate Chicago Christmas.

Nothing says Merry Christmas in Democrat run Chicago like 28 people getting shot. 6 fatally. pic.twitter.com/kfOxSZKI1n

— Vince Langman (@LangmanVince) December 29, 2025

Hizzoner is taking no chances for New Year’s, though, because this is his city’s big year to shine on. For the first time in fifty years, Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Countdown is going to be broadcast from Central time, and that’s going to be coming from right in downtown Chicago.

The Bear doesn’t want anything messin’ up his primetime showtime, particularly when he got to star in such a cool promo video.

WOO-HOO

See you there, Chicago! pic.twitter.com/6xd0DqoJFZ

— Mayor Brandon Johnson (@ChicagosMayor) December 24, 2025

The trains and buses will be free. Woo-hoo! And they’re so friendly already.

What the mayor doesn’t want is rampaging hordes of silly youths ruining Chicago’s debut, you know?

So he’s also made a little video for parents, whom he would normally ignore, but now he needs them to try to keep their monsters under control.

But he uses that really weird progressive-speak about creating safe spaces and introduces a nice, street-wise-looking young man as a potential role model for your children, who can help them reform their behavior, stay safe, and out of trouble.

At least for New Year’s, there’s going to be a curfew for 12-17-year-olds. If one of these little imps is downtown after 10 p.m., there had better be an adult with them…OR ELSE.

CURFEW VIOLATIONS COME WITH REAL CONSEQUENCES – EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL

‘REAL consequences’ would be a shock to the Chicago system. No one is going to believe that.

The mayor explains that Chicago is hosting a party, and it would be nice if your delinquents didn’t ruin it by trying to kill each other or the party-goers.

Damarion will be behind bars in a few months.

— CJ Cybertruck (@MilkmanMarcus) December 29, 2025

WE WANNA HAVE FUN, BE WITH FRIENDS, AND BRING IN THE NEW YEAR THE RIGHT WAY

I love the way the mayor has Damarion repeat exactly what he has just said, but in this stilted, scripted ‘youth’ speech, which Damarion would never in his life use. Oh, yeah – like that’s gonna make it stick. 

And never fear, if things get tense, ‘outreach workers’ are going to be available to chill out a situation.

I’m sure this public service announcement is going to make a great impression, especially Damarion’s earnest recital of all the talking points.

Good grief.

Meanwhile, I wish I knew where people were going to eat before the festivities. That also seems like a sketchy endeavor.

What’s up with this part of the story tho? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/0wLem2MrtD

— Jay Zyski (@JayZyski) December 29, 2025

Oh, yay! The trains will be free on New Year’s

They’re pretty great now, don’t you know?

Another “isolated incident”. Everyone should continue to prioritize transit.

— LostChiDem (@LostChiDem) December 29, 2025

Understandably, the feds are on edge about the possibility of a terrorist incident at one of these big-city New Year’s blowouts, and when you have a mental incompetent like Johnson in charge to begin with, it makes it all the more harrowing.

Johnson, however, has a personal $30M security detail of 150 Chicago police officers, unlike the city’s residents, whom he routinely subjects to daily gunfire, carjacking, rapes, plus the random stabs, slashes, and immolations on his public transit.

Chicago, you have nothing to worry about.

Brandon Johnson will be there with his 150 security guards.

And crime is down.

pic.twitter.com/avGJRilDlU

— Jen (@IlliniJen) December 28, 2025

About the best you’re going to get out of the Bear of Little Brains and even less action is a stilted public service etiquette video for thugs.

I wouldn’t be in downtown Chicago for nothin’, but on New Year’s?

Insanity.

 

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