Politics

Who’s Ready For Flintstonistan?

Jim Taft
By Jim Taft 29 Min Read
Who’s Ready For Flintstonistan?

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

On March 26th, after communications between whatever is left of pliable Iranian regime leadership and negotiators inside the Trump administration, a request was made of President Trump. The Iranians said they’ve gifted a total of 30 oil tankers to pass through the Strait of Hormuz, and according to Trump, they don’t fundamentally disagree with most of the items on his 15-point demand list. But Iran was begging for time to be able to take care of things internally in order to make a deal with which they could comply. A week is what they asked for. Trump gave them ten days.

What is at stake if no deal is reached within that ten-day grace period? As the Pat Travers Band sang, ironically, in 1979, Boom Boom (Out Go The Lights). Civilian infrastructure – electrical grid, roads/bridges, possibly even oil infrastructure, could and/or would be taken out. That deadline is rapidly approaching. On April 6th, if the regime remnants dither away their last chance to surrender and live through this month, Iran might very well become Flintstonistan by Tax Day.

There are many different stories floating around American media that show a variety of options being presented to President Trump for a limited ground force incursion – whether it be to extract the enriched uranium Iran squirreled away, or to take Kharg Island, the floating gas dock at the top of the Persian Gulf, and shut down Iran’s sole source of international trade and revenue until they roll over. Trump himself, over the years, going way back into the 80’s, has said if Iran didn’t play ball, he would take Kharg Island or just wipe it out entirely. Both options remain very much on the table. 

In the last week, however, Donald Trump, at least publicly, indicated he’s had a shift in thinking on what to do about the lack of oil tankers navigating through the Strait of Hormuz. A few weeks ago, it seemed a fait accompli that U.S. and Israeli forces, alone if necessary, would reopen the Strait forthwith. However, after European nations that are part of our NATO alliance balked, even though oil passing through the Strait impacts them much more than it does in the States, the President said we might not get sucked into opening the Strait after all. He said in his address to the nation that we’re achieving all the goals that were originally on our list, we’re ahead of schedule, in fact, and if the world wanted Hormuz to reopen, have at it and do it yourself once we’re done. 

While that ambiguity continues, this Trump ten-day hourglass keeps leaking sand. Four days from now, Iran has to surrender or else. Donald Trump stated from the Oval Office on Tuesday afternoon that we, the U.S. and Israelis, are running out of military targets to hit. What does that leave? Well, by today, that’s no longer in much question. But before we cover what’s to come in Week Six, it seems appropriate to compile a list of accomplishments just in the last few days of Week Five. I’ve organized them using noun rules (person, place, and/or thing).

It was another very bad week for leaders in the military junta running the country. I’ve given up hope on Iran ever showing proof of life of Khamenei 2.0, Cardboard Mojtaba, allegedly the Supreme Leader at the head of Iran’s theocratic regime. I believe he is deader than Nickelback. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have more viability than Khalemeni the Second does, and the Angels might not win 70 games this season. Former President Joe Biden has a brighter political future than the purported religious leader of Iran, and Joe’s got one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel. Everyone knows there is a dwindling number of IRGC commanders and generals, past and present, who are trying to hold the regime together. Here’s a roster of confirmed kills since last weekend. 





That seems like a lot. And I’m including this guy, too, because even though he got killed in the first strike five weeks ago, DNA evidence from part of his ankle that left the rest of his body and flew across Hell’s half acre was finally positively identified. 

So many pieces of the regime have been dispatched, one almost wishes there existed an organizational flow chart to see what five weeks of Operation Epic Fury have done to it. 

There you go. Certainly, Israeli intelligence that has permeated Iran for years, as well as American intelligence assets, are responsible for a good amount of those with red skulls on them. But the pace of eliminations has increased over the past couple of weeks, and paranoia among the remaining regime elements is running rampant. No one trusts anyone entirely anymore, fearing that everyone they talk to might be ratting them out to the enemy. That certainly seems to have been part of Trump’s strategy in setting the 10-day deadline to surrender.

But there is another factor entering the equation of why so many parts of the junta are systematically being taken out. The Iranian population, civilians, have increasingly become intelligence assets for the Americans and Israelis. So much so, in fact, that the surviving regimists have issued a warning on state-controlled television.  





We’ll return to the issue of what impact the Iranian population will eventually have on regime collapse, or perhaps when, in a bit. But if you want to know if regular Iranians are doing what they can while avoiding all the bombs raining down all around them, it seems pretty evident by the regime’s own statements and actions that they are. 

And it’s not just IRGC and Basij commanders and generals being targeted. This video, released by the Israeli Defense Forces, is especially gratifying. This building’s rooftop for months has been a perch from which snipers in the regime shot down into the crowds of protesters, killing God knows how many innocent Iranians. As the incoming missile hones in on that very spot, the sniper is faced with what victims trapped high up the Twin Towers in New York City faced on 9/11 after two planes had flown into them with virtually a full tank of fuel – either burn alive or jump to their deaths. Looks like the snipers chose to jump. Either way, they’re now dead, and the junta no longer has that vantage point with which to slaughter more civilians. 

As for the locations of interest for air strikes in the last few days, it’s pretty much as the President said from the Oval Office on Wednesday. We are virtually unchecked. We can fly anywhere inside Iran, day or night, and until a couple hours ago, out of the sorties flown by U.S. and Israeli forces, in the tens of thousands, there had not been a mishap. 

David Strom has the details as they’re unfolding of an apparent shoot down of an F-15 Strike Eagle, manned with a two-pilot crew. A massive rescue operation is underway to retrieve them. Details obviously are quite sketchy at this point, but David’s post does include indications that at least one of the pilots ejected before the plane crashed. The other most salient point is that whatever is left in power in Tehran doesn’t seem to have the wherewithal to capture the pilots themselves. Instead, they’re begging the locals to grab them, promising to pay a bounty for the capture of the pilots. What the regime would pay them with is an entirely different problem, as we’ll discover in a bit.  

Even if this turns out to be the proverbial lucky shot we were afraid would eventually happen with that many air strikes delivered, one only needs to compare the stats from Operation Epic Fury to what has been considered the gold standard of the most successful military victory in history – Operation Desert Storm/Desert Shield in 1990-91. Before the ground invasion to push Iraqi forces out of Kuwait, the air campaign to weaken the Iraqis resulted in 40 U.S. aircraft lost – 28 in combat, and 12 due to mechanical failure. And that was still regarded as a turkey shoot against a vastly underperforming Iraqi military.  

In five weeks of Operation Epic Fury, if this turns out to be a shootdown and not a mechanical failure, the tally of planes lost in combat goes up to…one. And that’s out of ten thousand-plus sorties by the Americans and Israelis. There have been aircraft on the ground damaged or destroyed on bases in neighborning countries due to drone attacks. But it’s undeniable that air superiority over Iran has been achieved and remains in effect. There are low altitude refueling operations of search and rescue operations going on right now. If Iran suddenly had a pocket of air defenses left in operation, we wouldn’t be flying that low and slow with such easy targets overhead. 

Despite this event, and we pray for the safe return of the pilots and for the rescue crews going in to get them, the President is still correct with his assessment of air superiority. Any city that contains something we believe to be helping the regime is targeted and destroyed. One example is in Isfahan, which not only is the home of one of Iran’s former nuclear facilities, but apparently was used to house a massive missile city under the sand. 





Eight hours later, long after the B-2’s were returning over the Atlantic, this is what Iranians in Isfahan saw on the horizon.

It’s estimated that the heat from the initial explosion, primary, and secondary explosions from the missiles that were incinerated reached upwards of 2,000 degrees Celsius. Just for comparison, the “surface” or what we see of the Sun, not its core, which is infinitely hotter, but the surface, is around 5,500 degrees Celsius. There’s nothing usable left. 

Satellite imagery a day and a half later showed we hit the motherlode. 

You might think to yourself this was a week’s worth of destruction in that strike alone. As a bonus, it was followed the next morning by this.

Same city, a little further south. Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. Martha and the Vandellas couldn’t save them, let alone their Cardboard Ayatollah. And while we were striking in Isfahan, our Israeli allies were addressing IRGC command and control remnants in the northern part of Tehran.

In the last three days, not one, but two of Iran’s biggest steel production plants – Mobarakeh Steel Company and Khuzestan Steel Company- were both destroyed. The regime was very upset that the targeting of air strikes seemed to shift to commercial and infrastructure sites instead of military facilities. But both facilities also had a secondary purpose beyond just producing steel for industrial and business use. They were manufacturing missile and rocket bodies. Not anymore. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

Remember that ten-day grace period President Trump gave to the Iranians in good faith? The Iranians only asked for seven days. Yesterday, April 2nd, was Day 7. The day began with a little attention-getter. 





Donald Trump is beginning to feel like the regime is tapping him along instead of keeping up their end of what they promised a week ago. The President gave a warning that if no deal was struck, including surrendering all remaining nuclear, missile, and drone capabilities as well as menacing the Strait of Hormuz, the electrical grid all over Iran would be. Thus far, attacks on the electrical plants have not happened. But nowhere in Donald Trump’s warning a week ago did he say he wouldn’t shift gears and begin to squeeze the regime by taking out other targets. 

Trump took to social media around the time of the airport strike in Isfahan, and gave another warning to whomever he has been talking to in Iran. The message? You’re running out of time. 

And just in case the regime thought Trump was bluffing, this happened very shortly afterward. 

This was the biggest bridge in Iran. Yes, it was for civilian use. It also was a crucial route for the regime to move mobile missile launchers from Tehran to other parts of the country. 

Trump is just toying with the regime now. He very easily could have ordered a strike on both ends of the bridge and had the span collapse into the abyss. Instead, he took out a chunk halfway across, leaving the rest of the bridge remaining for God (the real One) and all Iranians to see what we are capable of doing. By hitting the bridge there, it is no longer salvageable. You cannot simply repair it and have it be structurally sound enough to support the weight going over it. If the regime weren’t being pummeled every day and night, which they are, and if they had money, which they most certainly do not, they’d have to detonate and demolish the whole thing, clean up the rubble, and start all over with new bridge construction to get back to where they were before they stalled Donald J. Trump one day too many. Even with manpower and resources, it would take years to rebuild. The bridge now is basically two middle fingers pointing at each other, but they just can’t quite touch. 

As we head to Easter, a day before Iran’s deadline to make a deal, Democrats and Trump-haters would have you believe gas prices are so high now that life is unaffordable. Keep in mind that wages are up a lot more than they were when Joe Biden’s inflation hit upper mid-single digits, and everyone was screaming about affordability. 

But in Iran right now? Their currency is the rial. Right now, today, the rial is worth 0.00000076 dollars. That means if you took a dollar into a store in downtown Tehran, it would be worth 1.32 million rials. Iran’s year-to-year inflation rate from March 2025 to March 2026? Just a tick under 72%. And that’s if you can find a bank to give you cash that hasn’t been blown up by air strikes. And even as worthless as the rial is, IRGC and Basij regular forces haven’t gotten paid what little their salary is worth for the better part of a month. 

Masoud Pezeshkian, the Iranian puppet president, has held conversations with IRGC leaders that, of course, leaked to Israel’s Mossad, and it appears he’s very anxious about getting out from under this war, because he can see the economic realities of it. The regime is a couple of weeks away from total collapse, and that may happen anyway, even if the war ends tomorrow. Regardless, he keeps signaling that he wants to wave the white flag before it’s all gone. 





When Donald Trump said yesterday he was fully prepared to bomb Iran back to the Stone Age, he wasn’t just demonstrating he was a Curtis LeMay fan. He seems intent on enforcing his red line, something his two predecessors did not do, exacerbating the mess in the Middle East to the extent that Donald Trump felt compelled to clean it up once and for all. Later Thursday evening, one more social media post from the President. 

He might not need boots on the ground. Certainly not in mainland Iran, but maybe not even on Kharg or Larak Island, either. For the last month, Iranians have been on the sidelines – watching, filming, snickering, laughing, and sometimes dancing at one former regime stronghold after another going up in flames. They seem to know that now, while bombs are falling, is not the time for revolution. They’re waiting for a sign. 

Donald Trump’s final bomb – after there’s no power, no roads in and out of Tehran, no bridges, no money, and very little regime left – the final drop from the belly of a B-52 might be millions of pieces of paper with a simple message in Farsi.

To the proud people of Persia: 

For over four decades, you have lived under the boot of oppression and tyranny. Women and minorities have suffered unimaginable horrors. 

Today, all that misery and terror ends. I am pleased to report that the regime has been destroyed and the country is yours for the taking. Make of it what you will. You have friends in the United States and Israel who are here to help and support you. But right now, the fight is in your hands.

Godspeed, and you’re welcome. 

Donald J. Trump

The IRGC has conscripted 12-year-olds. It is laughable to think they have the resources to enforce a toll charge on tankers in the Gulf, rebuild their nuclear program, give money and support to proxies, rebuild their military industrial base, and quash a rebellion of millions of Iranians in the streets, energized as they’ve never been in half a century, all at the same time. If Trump follows through on his threat, my money’s on the mob.  

Of course, after a couple of weeks of no electricity, everyone in the country is going to be on foot. 

Say hello to Flintstonistan. 


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