Man finds poop on his roof, and if that wasn’t bad enough, it led to a mountain lion encounter

It’s never a good day when you find poop on your roof.

No one is going to go, “Hey, there’s some dookie on my roof, I think I’ll go buy some lottery tickets because clearly, everything is going my way.”

At least, finding some leavings on top of your house usually doesn’t end in a run-in with a mountain lion … usually.

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Bill Dabney of Pasadena was one of the unlucky few who had roof turds on his guest house that led directly to a big cat encounter.

“I looked up, and I saw poop on the roof,” Dabney told KABC-TV. “It was like four separate stools.”

Now, I’m not into numerology, but those four separate stools may have been hinting at imminent danger … or it could’ve meant he was going to find something he had previously misplaced. Numerology usually has upsides and downsides like that.

In this case, there was some imminent danger, and the guest house roof may not have ended up being the only thing with crap on it.

“All of a sudden I look over and [there’s a] mountain lion staring at me,” Dabney said.

Now, the implication here is that the mountain lion ripped a deuce on Dabney’s guest house. I think that’s probably the case, because I refuse to believe that anyone could discover four separate stools on their roof and then turn around and have a completely unrelated mountain lion encounter.

That just can’t happen. Not unless we live in a simulation and it’s glitching like crazy.

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This mountain lion wasn’t hanging around to apologize or ask if anyone in the house could spare a square, either.

“He was in the position mode, like he was going to spring,” Dabney said, before saying he immediately hightailed out of there. “Time to go!” he said. “I took off running!”

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According to the report, there was another mountain lion sighting just days later, though it’s unclear whether it was the same cat.

Of course, the dead giveaway would be if it got in on the act of leaving some presents at another guest house.