STILL THE KING: Squeaky-clean Michael Jackson biopic moonwalks all over competition

You come at the King of Pop, you best not miss.

When critics condemned the new Michael Jackson biopic for ignoring the sexual abuse allegations that haunted the late pop star, audiences had a simple retort: Beat it.

The upstart politician uncorked a banger ad campaign that shredded current California leaders for crushing the City of Angels.

Last weekend, they packed in theaters to give “Michael” a monstrous $97 million stateside haul.

The chasm between critic and general audience has never been bigger.

Now, with those gaudy numbers in hand, Lionsgate is teasing a sequel. And yes, there’s so much left to share about Jackson’s life. That “marriage” to Lisa Marie Presley. The plastic surgery mania that left the singer looking radically different and shockingly frail.

The reliance on surgical anesthetic as a sleep aid, a habit that eventually killed him. Oh, and the numerous court cases and allegations saying he preyed on children.

That’s enough for a whole franchise, but given the Jackson family is still holding the keys to the saga, we’ll have to wait and see if any or all of the above finally gets a close-up …

‘Witch’ watch

Imagining. Reimagining. Rebooting.

Heck, just call it what it is. A desperate attempt to squeeze every ounce out of a horror franchise. We recently learned a “new” “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” film is in the works, with the director promising a fresh take on the property.

Let me guess … this time around the human pruning will be emissions-free.

Now, a movie that defined “lightning in a bottle” is coming back. The 1999 found-footage shocker “The Blair Witch Project” caught everyone off guard. The film’s sneaky marketing even tricked some viewers into believing it was a documentary.

The $60,000 flick ultimately became one of the most profitable films of all time — followed by two of the most underwhelming sequels of all time.

Despite this track record, the pitch for another “imagining” of the film (Lionsgate’s word, not ours) is heading to the Cannes Film Festival.

Let’s hope the project’s $10 million budget allows for someone to hold the camera steady …

Ding-a-ling

We thought “Jeopardy” champions were supposed to be smart.

Recent winner Jamie Ding wrapped an epic run on the venerable game show, and he used his 15 minutes of fame to bash … Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

First, he played the “as an immigrant and person of color” card. Wow, we’ve never seen that on our TV screens before. Stop the presses!

But even after 31 consecutive wins, Ding apparently can’t tell the difference between himself and the average undocumented Tren de Aragua member.

Maybe we can help: “What is illegal immigration?”

RELATED: Jimmy Kimmel: It’s not ‘my job’ to make you laugh

NurPhoto/CBS Photo Archive/Kevin Winter/NBC/Getty Images

Jihad to be there

“The Daily Show” isn’t the dumbest program on TV. That dishonor goes to “The View.” But this week, Comedy Central’s creaky fake news flagship threatened to steal the dunce cap from Whoopi and crew with a segment featuring Muslim comedian Mo Amer.

Amer whitewashed reality to both talk up Muslim achievement (fine, good!) and distract from the unrelenting headlines about radical Islamists (bad!). And of course, he wrapped by calling Americans racist for noticing the latter. Naturally.

“So stop using lazy tropes to divide people so you can bomb other countries, creating even more refugees, making you more upset at Muslims in America being doctors or engineers, lawyers, or selling you street meat out of delicious halal carts!”

Memo to Amer: It’s not so much the Muslim doctors who get under Americans’ skin — it’s the Jew-hating, terrorist ones. Although to be fair, some enterprising immigrants manage to pull off both careers.

And by the way, if you’re going to appear on “The Daily Show,” you might want to tell an actual joke or two. You never go the full Kimmel …

As seen on TV

Why does it take reality-show stars to fix our problems? The country elected Donald Trump twice to address the issues ignored by too many politicians, like our porous southern border. Now, “The Hills” alum Spencer Pratt is trying to do the same for Los Angeles.

The upstart politician uncorked a banger ad campaign that shredded current California leaders for crushing the City of Angels.

This is one sequel Hollywood desperately needs — “The Reality-Show Star Strikes Back.” Given the Golden State’s recent history, though, it might never get greenlit.