On any given Tuesday afternoon, there are thousands of parents rushing out the door in a panic, corralling their kids into the car, frantically battling their way through traffic, picking up something cheap to eat because there’s no time for anything else, nearly crashing as they try to shave a few minutes off because you can’t be late, for God’s sake, and then finally dropping their kid off at the sports center for travel soccer practice.
On the weekends, they are driving four hours for tournaments, staying in hotels every Saturday night, and spending thousands of dollars every year devoting their lives to the wide and ever-expanding world of travel sports.
What does it do to your family if you aren’t ever eating dinner together?
Have you noticed any of this? Have you heard of any of this? Well, I hope you haven’t, but you probably have. Travel sports are a big thing these days, and they seem to get bigger every year. Soccer, baseball, hockey, volleyball: Whatever the game, the phenomenon is the same.
Soccer monster
When I was young, travel sports weren’t such a big thing. I know they existed somewhere, but I don’t think I knew anyone personally who did them. My wife knew someone who did travel hockey, but that was it. Back in those days, travel sports were rare, and it seemed that the only people who did them were people who were extraordinarily “into” sports. Now travel sports are everywhere, more kids are in them, and they are more consuming than ever before.
I know a woman who admits that the only reason she works is to fund her son’s travel soccer habit. She’s joking a little, but only a little. Every week she is buying new gear, shopping for more accoutrements, booking hotels for the whole weekend, exploring other travel leagues that might be better, and generally devoting a large portion of her life to travel sports.
The travel soccer her son is in runs all year and costs around $10,000. That doesn’t include any of the travel expenses or hotels. At the end of any given year, their travel soccer bill could easily be a tidy $25,000. She says they almost never eat at home, which makes sense. On the weekdays she is carting her son to travel soccer; on the weekends they are staying in hotels.
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Fare play
Sure, it’s not for everybody, but what’s the big deal about spending a couple of hours on the freeway every weekend? That’s what I used to think. Then I learned that it’s not uncommon for parents to fly with their kids to various tournaments around the country. That’s how deep the travel sports addiction can get. I was shocked.
It would be one thing, I suppose, if only the truly exceptional young athletes were caught up in this — the 0.000000001% destined to become pros or compete in the Olympics. But these are average kids we’re talking about, kids who will most likely never play their chosen sport beyond high school.
I’m not a sports hater. Sports are good for kids. I grew up doing sports in the summer and after school in the spring and fall. My kids do baseball, soccer, and tennis. But they aren’t traveling anywhere to play these sports, nor will they be. And we have more important things to spend money on than a $25,000 travel soccer bill.
The problem with travel sports isn’t the sports. It’s the travel. And it’s the travel that’s such a problem because it’s that which results in life being completely subsumed by practices, tournaments, and all things travel sports. And the problem with all things being subsumed by travel sports is that you don’t have time for anything else, and you lose track of what actually matters.
Time out
What does it do to your family if you aren’t ever eating dinner together? What does it do to your kid — their sense of purpose and their perception of their role as a child — if all you do is cart them around like a dutiful chauffeur? And what about their spiritual development? If you are traveling every weekend for travel sports, you certainly won’t be attending synagogue on Saturday or church on Sunday. How do you teach your kids about values or faith if you never make time for them? Well, you can’t.
Lastly, what about culture? What do travel sports say about the state of our society and what we value? Sure, without question, travel sports are a lot better than smoking weed, being a general menace, or sitting on your butt all day doing nothing. But are those really the only options?
They can’t be.
How do families remain families — close families — in an era of over-scheduled kids, over-worked parents, and in a world that seems intent on drawing us apart and off into things that don’t really matter? It’s a big question, and each family has their own answer. But whatever the answer is for whoever you are, travel sports are probably not it.
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