I Never Thought That the Words ‘Queer Turtle’ Would Ever Be Uttered in Polite Company

In my earlier piece today, I pleaded with the powers that be to stop the Earth so that my sane companions on this planet can get off. 

The inmates are running the asylum, and it’s crazy and dangerous down here. The Democrats are celebrating murder, women are demonstrating in favor of a mother who strangled her children, and major sports leagues think that rolling out a queer turtle as a mascot makes a serious moral point about what it means to be a woman. 

Nobody appears to be sane anymore, although we should all thank God that the WNBA has yet to provide a platform for some queer assassin to justify murdering anybody…yet. 

Sophie Cunningham has become a lightning rod in the WNBA and even in circles where the WNBA had never been a topic of conversation. That’s because she had the courage to say that men should not be beating up on women or sharing locker rooms with them, and that a sports league that exists solely for the purpose of promoting professional basketball for women should feature…women athletes. 

“This queer turtle will show her!” is not a sentence said by well adjusted adults https://t.co/P208WedTOP

— Jon 🔬 (@JonnyMicro) August 23, 2026

But this being the second decade of the twenty-first century, the concept “woman” is not contested in a way that it never has been in human history. We live in a world where the female penis is a thing, and grown men masturbating in locker rooms to young girls changing is considered a human right not to be questioned. 

We can argue about the many reasons we have reached this point, but it seems inarguable that, whatever the cause, the people who are pushing this absurdity forward are primarily liberal women who really, really, REALLY need to spend some time in mental detox. 

WNBA: “People are trying to use the league to sow divisiveness.”

Also WNBA:
Toronto Tempo: Here’s Dez our new non-binary snapping turtle mascot (she/they).

NY Liberty: Welcome, Trans fans pic.twitter.com/abY2Ybdfic

— Alec Lace (@AlecLace) August 23, 2026

When Sophie, as an aside, said she believed that only girls and women should play in sports set aside for girls and women, the backlash against her among liberals was intense. Supporters of Sophie have been verbally assaulted by WNBA officials, coaches have expressed their anger, and even teen girls have been shouted and cursed at by team owners. 

🚨 BREAKING: Enes Kanter Freedom Just got EJECTED from Fever-Sky Game as Chicago Sky Player Tried Fighting With Him Court-Side.

This is absolutely INSANE.

The WNBA has a BIG problem on their hands. pic.twitter.com/hgxJxY70iF

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) August 24, 2026

The behavior is deranged. So, I suppose in that context, the fact that the Toronto Tempo (I had no idea the team existed, thank God) trotted out a trans turtle to taunt Sophie is almost cute. It’s better than shouting threats at teen girls, although it is aimed at them as much as at Sophie Cunningham. 

The Toronto Tempo debuted a new “non-binary” mascot ahead of their WNBA matchup with the Indiana Fever in an apparent swipe at controversial star Sophie Cunningham.

The Tempo revealed Dez, a butch, non-binary Borealis Blue Snapping Turtle who uses she/they pronouns and “has a fondness for soft shell tacos,” the team said in an Tuesday announcement unveiling the new mascot.

Dez also has a partner in crime, anthropomorphic arctic hare named Dot who uses standard she/her pronouns.

We are, I am assured, supposed to take the WNBA seriously as a sports league, and not as a bunch of womyn trying to become Cambridge University sociology professors or anything similarly worthless. 

The WNBA has been around since 1996, although I am reliably told that nobody knew that until Caitlin Clark was drafted in 2024. Until that year, it apparently was a club of black lesbians that admitted a white player or two. Its most famous player was Brittney Griner, who achieved notoriety for trying to smuggle marijuana vapes into Russia. 

I think that was the first time I even heard the term “WNBA.” 

WNBA team Toronto Tempo unveils new non-binary mascot with She/They pronouns.

Dez the mascot, who uses She/They pronouns, identifies as a “borealis blue” snapping turtle from Muskoka. pic.twitter.com/i1lFdfzWPO

— Oli London (@OliLondonTV) August 21, 2026

These days, the league is best known for its hatred of its two most popular and bankable players and the propensity of angry black lesbians to be as violent as young gang members from the bad part of town. If you didn’t know why there is a term “mean girls” before, now you do. 

That notion that peace would reign if women ran the world? Apparently not. 

“white privilege” https://t.co/YZodhvIuES pic.twitter.com/hlJJyyfC7H

— Seth Dillon (@SethDillon) August 8, 2026

I can imagine few things as pointless and catty as inventing a life-sized doll of a sexually confused turtle in order to make an insane political point, but this is apparently what the WNBA wants to be known for. 

Sophie Cunningham chants ‘USA’ in an Indianapolis country bar after a Fever win. 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/I1n3yxXFIS

— johnny maga (@johnnymaga) August 16, 2026

I do have one thing to thank the WNBA for: creating a star in Sophie Cunningham. She seems delightful, even if the context in which we have been introduced to her is anything but. 

Only Sophie Cunningham could go from playing a Fever game to randomly showing up at a bar and singing “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue” with the fans. 🥰🇺🇸

She’s truly the freaking best. ❤️❤️ pic.twitter.com/FSvsnUOjPZ

— Gina Milan (@ginamilan_) August 15, 2026

Watching her sing a song with the signature line “We’ll put a boot up your ass, it’s the American way” makes it almost worthwhile to have the WNBA exist. 

Almost. 

Editor’s Note: Do you enjoy HotAir’s conservative reporting exposing the radical left and woke media? Support our work so we can keep bringing you the truth.

Join HotAir VIP and use promo code FIGHT to receive 60% off your membership.