The secret to senior softball? It’s all about the magic bat

I always liked team sports, so when I got old enough, I signed up for senior softball.

At our first game, I showed up with an old mitt and a small aluminum bat I dug out of my sister’s garage. I didn’t really know what level senior softball was going to be. I figured this mitt and bat would be good enough. If not, I could upgrade.

Another guy couldn’t seem to get a hit with it. He seemed perplexed and somewhat disturbed that there was a special bat for old people.

That bat, it turned out, was for girls. Like girls ages 8 to 12. It was about a foot shorter than a normal bat.

I didn’t know this at the time. I leaned it against the wall in the dugout. When the coach saw it, he turned toward us players: “Whose bat is this?!”

I admitted it was mine. He glared at me and said, “Get this thing out of here! If you don’t have a real bat, borrow one from the other guys!”

I grabbed the bat, hurried to my car, and stashed it in the trunk.

Magic stick

So then I had to borrow another guy’s bat. I didn’t know anyone on the team yet. I wasn’t sure how to go about it.

The other bats looked pretty high-tech. Most of them looked new. I didn’t want to scuff up somebody’s brand-new bat. Fortunately, when it was my turn at the plate, one of the guys handed me his.

I hadn’t played softball in many years, so I was pretty nervous. The first pitch came, and I swung late and hit a bloop single over the first baseman’s head.

I hadn’t hit it very hard. I was surprised the ball went so far. I ran to first base. I had my first hit.

The next time I was up, I used that same bat, and this time I made solid contact. The ball flew over the shortstop’s head. It went farther than I’d ever hit a softball. It was almost unnatural how far it went. It was like magic.

Later, I asked the guy about his bat. He said it was a senior softball bat. All the bats in the dugout were senior softball bats. That’s what everybody had.

When I went up a third time, I hit a grounder. But it bounced hard and skipped passed the third basemen for another hit.

Back in the dugout, I asked a different guy, “What’s up with these bats?” He said it was a special design. Senior softball bats were made of advanced materials. They were more flexible. The bat gave a little when it made contact. And then the ball “trampolined” off it with extra force.

He showed me the little inscription on the bat that said it was specifically authorized by Senior Softball-USA, the world’s largest senior softball association.

“Wow,” I said. “So we have our own bats.”

“Yes, we do,” he answered.

Sweet spot

At the next game, another guy showed up with a bunch of old senior softball bats he wasn’t using anymore. He had brought them for me. If I liked one of them, I could buy it from him.

He told me to try them out, see which one I liked. The first one I tried, I blasted a base hit between the outfielders. “I’ll take this one,” I told him.

And the next week, I gave him a hundred bucks.

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Softball shaman

Once I saw how fun senior softball was, I tried to find ways to get extra practice. A younger woman I knew invited me to a pickup game she played in.

These were young people, mostly in their 20s and 30s. They were good players, much better than I was.

When it came time for me to bat, I used my new senior softball bat and hit a deep ball into left field. Everyone was like, “Wow, you really got a hold of that one.”

The next time I was up, I hit another deep ball. People were surprised, shocked even.

“It’s the bat,” I told them. “It’s a senior softball bat.”

They had never heard of such a thing. They wanted to see it. I showed them the little inscription that said: Senior Softball-USA.

“It’s a special design,” I said. “It’s bouncier. Like a trampoline.”

They all felt the bat. They studied it. It didn’t look any different than their bats.

“Try it,” I told them. So they did. One guy, who could already hit the ball a mile, hit the ball a mile.

Another guy couldn’t seem to get a hit with it. He seemed perplexed and somewhat disturbed that there was a special bat for old people.

Another guy got a solid hit, but he didn’t seem particularly impressed. All these guys were really good hitters to start with. My special bat didn’t seem to do that much for them.

I said, “Maybe you have to be a senior to activate the technology.”

Team dream

I made it through that first season. It was a great experience. And being around my teammates reminded me how much skill and competence your average person over 50 represents.

Like the senior softball bat: They had integrated this new technology into their sport in just the right amount. It didn’t significantly alter the game; it just made it a little more fun.

But being on a team. That was the best part. I’ve been a writer all my life. Sitting in a room. By myself. Thinking my thoughts.

What a relief to be with the guys. On a beautiful spring day. In the dugout. With my magic bat.