What do you get when you combine woke, DEI, special subsidies, and technocrats?
A bureaucratic standard for “gayness.” An actual, legal process to determine the sexual preferences of contractors.
Lots of paperwork involved in order to be certified as gay in California. pic.twitter.com/TwaAKAlhZJ
— City Journal (@CityJournal) June 16, 2026
It all stems from an already absurd program to force utilities to set aside hundreds of millions of dollars to be awarded to contractors that the state certifies as “gay.”
No, this is not a parody. This is real life.
Now, let’s leave aside the fact that gay men earn the highest income of any group, and that gay households correspondingly are much wealthier and have more buying power than any other demographic group. There is even a Wikipedia on the gay wage gap.
Still, gays are a “protected class,” and are lumped in with other categories of minorities, and we are talking about California after all. Even if you thought set-asides were good policy—they are not, and they are also routinely abused by hiring a front man or woman to get access to a contract—it’s kinda bizarre that gays would be included, given their advantage in income.
But there it is. And since they do this, they need a way to certify exactly what people do with their genitals.
Under a series of Democratic governors, the program has expanded to include gay-owned businesses. In September 2014, then-Governor Jerry Brown signed legislation requiring CPUC to recognize “LGBT-owned businesses” as eligible for supplier-diversity benefits. Five years later, Governor Gavin Newsom expanded the program further, “encouraging” other companies involved in the energy sector to award contracts to gay-owned firms.
In the years that followed, CPUC faced activist pressure as it implemented the gay expansion. BuildOUT California, a since-rebranded LGBT building-industry organization, sent a letter to the commission arguing that “homophobia” existed within “the ranks of the utility companies.” The state’s legislative LGBTQ caucus suggested in a 2021 letter that even considering lower gay-procurement targets was “an insult to the LGBTQ+ community.”
By 2022, CPUC had fully implemented the expansion. In practice, this meant establishing a “goal” for utility companies with annual revenues exceeding $25 million to buy things from state-certified LGBT businesses: 0.5 percent of procurement in 2022; 1 percent in 2023; and 1.5 percent in 2024 and beyond. If “large” CPUC-regulated utilities met these “goals” in 2024, they would have sent roughly $633 million to LGBT-owned firms.
This scheme raises an obvious question: How does a business qualify as officially gay? Paperwork. Supplier Clearinghouse, a group that certifies firms for the CPUC program, features a list of qualifications linked on its website. Applicants can secure certification by providing a letter from an “LGBT organization” attesting to their sexual preferences; proof that a newspaper identified them as “LGBT”; or three letters from “personal contacts” written “on company letterhead” attesting to their homosexual orientation. Corporate officials who “falsely represent” their business as gay face up to a year in county jail.
Supplier Clearinghouse also accepts gay-certification letters from the National LGBTQ+ & Allied Chamber of Commerce. The chamber has its own list of accepted documents, including human resources complaints or police records claiming LGBT discrimination. As NGLCC states on its website, “Certification is a journey, not a destination.”
“Gay certification letters.” There is now such a thing, believe it or not.
No word on whether you can use the George Costanza method of proving one’s sexual identity. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Of course, George wanted to prove he was not gay, but it could work the other way around, you know. And Scott Weiner would probably volunteer as a “gay certifier.”
I suggest that we expand the requirements for other groups getting set-asides. Perhaps do genetic testing for black and indigenous people, awarding people with greater or lesser benefits depending on quanta of different racial characteristics as revealed in their genes. Hispanics could get their benefits based on how much European heritage they have.
Otherwise you get the Elizabeth Warren or Rachel Dolezal problem, right? Genetic tests for all!
I’m not sure how you tell whether a person is a woman anymore, since there is no agreed upon definition. I wonder if there is soon to be a certification process for womanhood, or does checking a box for that characteristic suffice? If you fake being gay, why can’t you fake being a woman?
In any case, I am glad to know that at least one state is working hard to ensure that power is only delivered by the “right” demographic mix of contractors. The fact that many wildfires are started by failing PG&E power lines is a small price to pay for that comfort.
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