The Most AWFL Monologue Ever

OK, admittedly this is not quite the hard news you might expect from me at Hot Air, but stay with me. I do have a deeper point than just making fun of this Labour MP.

Samantha Niblett is very upset at the new guidance that the Equality and Human Rights Commission in the U.K. released to update guidance on trans issues, as required by the UK Supreme Court ruling that men are men and women are women. 

It’s so appalling that she took time out from sunbathing on the Mediterranean coast — well, not really, since she is continuing to soak up the sun in her bikini — to share her disgust at her fellow countrymen. 

An actual UK MP, lounging in her bikini in a Mediterranean garden, telling British survivors that they’re arseholes for wanting single sex support services, rapists should be in women’s prisons and that your daughter should get changed in front of men. Mad pic.twitter.com/zwursGZQD0

— Venice Allan (@roseveniceallan) August 5, 2026

Affluent? Check!

White? Check!

Female? Check!

Liberal? Check!

AWFL, indeed. 

She could be one of those women who hired the Race2Dinner folks to come berate her and her friends about how racist they are as they chow down on some caviar and filet mignon. Only at this dinner, you can add a long discussion about the need for gender fluidity and good sunbathing locations to watch the trannies frolic in the waves. 

I did a bit of digging around, and Niblett is the archetype for the modern white liberal woman. Wrapping herself up in the flag of inclusiveness and compassion, she spends a lot of time telling people what bigots they are and how they should be just like her. 

She doesn’t have opinions. She makes pronouncements. She doesn’t make suggestions. She shares commandments.

She’s a bit kinky, discussing her love of certain types of porn, and convinced Keir Starmer to create a program to bring sex toys into Parliament and declare 2026 the summer of sex in Britain. 

“We just need to acknowledge that humans have a natural interest in sex… it is a joyful thing,” Niblett says

Read the full interview here (including a few sentences I never thought I would write) 👇

5/5https://t.co/ErHxonBDIz

— Zoë Crowther (@zoenora6) April 14, 2026

She’s partnered with a porn producer and a high-end sex toy manufacturer to promote lifelong sex education, apparently on the government’s dime. Even with the departure of Starmer, the Labour government reaffirms its commitment to sex toys in Parliament. 

Lend me your ears.🫡

Some jokes write themselves! 🙈

Just in case you were worried it had slipped off the agenda, Labour MP Samantha Niblett has confirmed that her parliamentary dildo exhibition will go ahead.

Her ‘summer of sex’ campaign now has the firm backing of none… pic.twitter.com/UcLASEUP3n

— Matt Casey 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇬🇧 (@MattCas04807118) July 28, 2026

Lend me your ears.🫡

Some jokes write themselves! 🙈

Just in case you were worried it had slipped off the agenda, Labour MP Samantha Niblett has confirmed that her parliamentary dildo exhibition will go ahead. 

Her ‘summer of sex’ campaign now has the firm backing of none other than John Lewis, alongside luxury sexual wellness company Coco de Mer.

I have no problem with Niblett’s desire to be randy; more power to her, although she complains she is too busy to get the real thing often enough, which explains her obsession with sex toys. What’s striking about her efforts is how her own desires and opinions have to be turned into national policy.

Labour MP Samantha Niblett is launching the “summer of sex” campaign & is bringing sex toys into parliament. Even discussing what their favourite porn sites are. The Labour Party are sex mad! #PMQs pic.twitter.com/tJpYaqYRBU

— JARDINE (@oJARDINEo) April 15, 2026

She likes sex toys and porn? Well, there must be a national discussion about sex toys and porn! 

Is she a big fan of transgenderism? Well, the entire nation must be forced to pretend that men are women and should be allowed to masturbate in girls’ locker rooms. 

I suppose it makes for good porn movies, if you are into that sort of thing. Buy one of Coco de Mer’s toys and have at it!

It’s ripe for parody, isn’t it?

Some MPs go on holiday & not feel the need to make performative outrage videos about Women’s spaces being protected, but ‘Summer of Sex’ campaigner Samantha Niblett couldn’t resist the chance to make sure people don’t forget about her & her opinions #parody pic.twitter.com/toJTpvAqm0

— Intel Lady (@intel_lady) August 6, 2026

The AWFL’s mantra comes down to this: My opinions are your commands, and if I like it, you must fund it, bigot. 

For all the talk about live and let live, the truth is that these people are tyrants. 

Editor’s Note: President Trump is leading America into the “Golden Age” as Democrats try desperately to stop it.  

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