Ex UFC star Paige VanZant sizzles in Miami and Japanese World Cup fans discover everything is bigger in Texas

Well, everyone, true love is dead. Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo are calling it quits.

Everything I’ve ever learned about this couple has been against my will. Back before Jelly Roll lost nearly 300 pounds, he said on a podcast that Bunnie was allowed to cheat on him because he was fat. Then, she did a whole podcast talking about their open marriage. Then there was another podcast where she cried about him cheating on her even though she raised his kids and helped him get clean.

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All this and I still have no idea if her name is pronounced Xo (like “Zo”) or X-O (like “hugs and kisses”). Maybe some things are better left a mystery.

Rough day to be Bunnie, though. Not only is she getting divorced, but she got called out by a famous internet troll who goes by the name of Goob. If you’re unfamiliar with Goob, he likes to scan the profiles of fitness influencers and call them out for Photoshopping and Facetuning all their photos.

Well, Bunnie claimed she’s never edited her photos to make herself look skinnier. And Goob determined that was a lie.

Then, she doubled down — threatened to sue Goob for using her picture. Unfortunately for her, that is not how the internet works.

Anyway, don’t sue me, Bunnie.

Enough of this nonsense. Grab yourself a cold beer from the garage fridge, and let’s do some Nightcaps.

 

Paige VanZant checks in from Miami

You know what celebrity couple is still happy and thriving? Paige VanZant and Austin Vanderford. In fact, they might be a little too happy.

See her Instagram for more?

That was just the cherry on the top of a massive #content dump she shared on IG while trying on bikinis in Miami this week. 

Look, I know Paige followed the UFC fighter to OnlyFans model pipeline (many such cases), and now we’re just being gratuitous. But there’s not a whole lot to work with on the timeline today.

Oh, except it does look like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are going to have a gigantic, tacky, nightmarish wedding at Madison Square Garden after all.

KYLIE JENNER INSPIRES KNICKS LINGERIE, SWIFT-KELCE MSG WEDDING RUMORS & GERMAN DISCOVERS WAFFLE HOUSE

A massive stage! So gaudy. So awful.

Anyway, on a slow news day, sometimes I have to just go back to the ol’ tried and true Nightcaps formula of embedding photos of girls in bikinis.

I am but a slave to the SEO.

Plus, I can’t make this whole column about Jelly Donut and Bunnie Hugs & Kisses because the Entertainment Team will get mad at me for stealing their thunder.

 

I can’t get enough of foreigners falling in love with America

It’s good to know my algorithm hasn’t completely failed me today. Because these videos of all the World Cup fans discovering the beauty of America? Inject them into my veins.

And who knew the Japanese fans would be such a dang delight? Not only do they come equipped with their own trash bags to clean up after themselves, but they’re also hella funny.

My girl Tisia Muzinga really got into that one.

And (drum roll), my favorite Japanese fan video yet:

I can’t believe it. They literally did the “South Park” episode.

A mildly related tangent: One time I wrote a heartwarming story about a Nagasaki atomic bomb survivor meeting her heroes (Shohei Ohtani, Roki Sasaki and Tomoyuki Sugano). She was a sweet little 100-year-old Japanese lady, and the videos of her fangirling over the MLB players were adorable.

Shortly afterward, I got a scathing email from a reader who told me that story was a slap in the face to all current and former U.S. military personnel and that I should be ashamed of myself for saying something nice about a Nagasaki survivor after the Japanese bombed us first in World War II.

Sorry in advance to that guy if he sees this column.

Let’s open the mailbag.

📩 Email: [email protected] (Send your thoughts, stories, tips, rants and photos of your dog.)

🐦 Twitter/X: @TheAmberHarding

📸 Instagram: @amberharding

 

In case you missed last Tuesday’s Nightcaps…

Here’s a visual representation.

Last week, I delivered the sad news that my German Shepherd murdered a baby bunny (an actual bunny, not Xo) in my backyard. Turns out, it had escaped from a nest in our fire pit. So all week long, I worked hard to protect the other bunnies in the nest — making sure Rocky wasn’t out there unattended, that he stayed away from the fire pit, that mama bunny was still coming back to nurse.

Well, wouldn’t you know I left my husband home alone with the dog ONE time, and Rocky slipped out and got the rest of the nest. Bunnies never stood a chance. I gave my husband the cold shoulder the rest of the night. I’m still distraught over it.

“He’s a dog, Amber,” he tells me. “That’s what they do.”

And apparently Gene in the Rock agrees with him, because he emailed me a recipe for German rabbit stew: Hasenpfeffer. This is similar to what my Dutch grandma used to make. Unlike in parts of Europe, when you make it yourself you don’t need to ask to see their rabbits with the heads on (to make sure they aren’t serving you cat). Tell Rocky I said, “Go git ’em.”

 

Some dog #content you guys sent in

A dog in a car wash, via William O:

Fred H. Writes: Buzzie was a Bichon/Shih Tzu cross dog who crossed the Rainbow Bridge several years ago. Buzzie knew he was a cow dog. We had Lucy a black mouth cur dog and a great cow dog. Lucy and Buzzie became best friends. Lucy had a unique herding style. Buzzie mimicked Lucy exactly. When Lucy was working a cow I  kept track of where she was because she would go through anything including me to get the job done. But she never came close to running over Buzzie. This was one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen and I’m the only one who saw them.

Kevin W. checks in from Wisconsin with his dog, Louis: That’s him in his camp chair that sits in our garage at our primary home in Waunakee, Wis.. He once went viral as someone took a pic of him in the chair and posted it on social media and he got hundreds of likes. 🙂

Here are a few views of the lake we’re on up north. We have a great boat parade on the 4th! 

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Luke Bryan will never do an interview with me if y’all keep this up

Caitlin R. Writes: Anotha one!

 

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OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.